NOW SIGNING OFF
May that white butterfly be my sign, for the proclamation? However, I know for a fact that white means surrender, I just leave it all up to God. Thy will be done. Tomorrow is the day, okay. I just do hope I can sleep peacefully tonight. Well, I opted to stay in our condominium unit instead of having an overnight swimming party with my GAPatids at Leo’s crib because it’s going to be Dad’s pre-birthday celebration in the evening. As I say, Dad is more important than my leisure moments with my friends. Precisely, Dad’s getting another year younger! Hah! Although I really want to be with them, I have no regrets being with my family that whole night, we celebrated it with our happy tummies, and beautiful fireworks in the sky! Gosh, it was really awesome. I wasn’t able to sleep the entire night, I tried so hard, yet still nothing happened. I ended up using my iPad ‘til 4:15 in the morning, thinking and worried. Oh Lord, Jesus. I really don’t know what’s going to happen the moment I open my eyes by 7am.
Then came 5am, still I haven’t slept yet. I even plan to have a power nap for like twenty minutes and I ended up feeling fucked up. So I got up from bed instead, grabbed my towel and hit the shower room. Indeed, I can’t stop my heart from beating so damn fast. I am nervous; I am feeling the jitters all over my knees up to my nerves. I made it sure that I’ll be fashionably on time for the proclamation. But as always and as expected, I was fashionably late. I was well-dressed and dolled up. Thinking that whatever the result may be, at least I know for myself that I’m still pretty. Just that, nothing beats that. Still pretty, even prettier. Hihih. :) I just recovered from sickness, severe bronchitis, sleepless nights for a couple of weeks, and yeah today is the moment of truth. Today is the D day. And whatever happens I know it is for a reason.
As I always believe, everything happens for a reason. And I take this yearning as an eye-opener for me not to judge the situation based on how I see it. Same with people, three years ago, I thought of these candidates as nasty people, just trying to make pa-cute in front of me, trying to earn my vote for nothing. That they’ll just enter our classroom and say shits in front of us and try fooling us. Just to get the position they wanted to in the ABSC. But heck no! It was completely strange, extremely the different tone of what I knew. Now that I was able to undergo all those trainings, congress and hardships, I swallowed back my pride and piled up everything I thought was true. I am now a candidate, a candidate appealing to reason. I ran for ABSC because I wanted change. Not just a simple change, turning an ordinary student to a famous one, but rather to gain an experience. A once in a lifetime experience in my college life that I know and I believe has taught me something.
Running for ABSC these elections completely changed my notion on student politicians. Although I have to admit that I am one, being part of the Sangguniang Kabataan, and the Student Council Organization way back in High School. Well, it rang a bell that I am really a student politician. However, for three long years, I remained apolitical and then again I took some time to sit down, contemplate, and talk to myself and of course to God. The rest of my weeks and days were now part of the history. For whatever it is, I can’t exactly say which for I don’t know in particular what really made me grab this time and opportunity to risk my time and effort, doing the things I promised myself three years ago, that I won’t ever enter the world of politics again. Yet… Yes.
Everything’s over. I am now living my normal life again, enjoying my Junior year and hoping to enjoy the same things for my Senior year, well, without the pressure. For I am not going to be as busy as hell, thanks heaven still :) I got my early gift from God. I didn’t win the elections, therefore! I’m still going to be free. And so as I end this blog entry tonight, I would like to quote my philosopher, Julia Kristeva. ‘Mourning is never complete, but is rather successive.’ ABSC’s election is over. Yes, I didn’t get the majority of the votes from my co-Artlets, I didn’t get the title, Treasurer. But I know it’s not my loss, rather it is my gain. Moreover, I felt like I still won. It was really fulfilling doing the things I don’t normally do in my busy life as a student. For a week, I was like a different student from the rest. Even though it was a defeat, well I am proud to say that it isn’t just an ordinary defeat; it was a tough defeat though. And that ‘everything happens for a reason’. Cheers! I’ll remain positive. This isn’t the end. This is just the beginning. Well, from this experience I have also learned that I should be selfless, that it is not always about me. And most of all, I’ve learned to take negative criticisms as constructive ones. Not for me to feel worthless and less of a person, but as a challenge for me to do things even better. :)
On a side note, it was a good thing that I didn’t win the elections. Because… I’ll have more time for myself, for my family and friends in the last year of my College life! This is the BRIGTHER SIDE. Project AID? To be branded as one of the next year’s BEST THESIS. :) This is my ABSC Elections’ venture. Again, this is your GAP-Treasurer, Adrienne ‘Aid’ Magora, now signing off. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment