I SURVIVED! Yes, I survived, am a survivor, keep on surviving. ;) but what do I really mean by saying that I SURVIVED? Well, am just so proud of myself that I was able to compromise, turned down all those guys who at least tried getting my attention during those dull moments of my summer, stayed calm and true to my feelings, did never attempted of cheating, and yea, I was able to remain loyal to my partner. Like, oh my gosh. I am so proud of myself. This must be real. I must be real now; Oh, I mean, this love is real. Well, I couldn't just imagine myself, standing in such a situation, whereas am dealing to a person over the cyber world for like a month, counting the minutes, hours, days, and weeks that weren't having this physical connection with each other. See, since April 28, 2011 up to today, May 24, 2011. So counting the days~ that was JUST twenty six days of torment for me. For I have to keep myself still close to him, loving him still and making him my everything though his physical presence was not really present at all. I mean, we're far flung away from each other, like, miles and miles away from each others' arms. But by just the mere fact that we both know and we both believe that we will live for each other forever; that we will be together as one, as our hearts beat for no one but each other, and no one else in between, surely this love that we have is for us to keep and it will be for eternity. That I am the sole owner of his heart, and he's my one and only, the knight in shining armor that rules my heart. ;)
During those twenty six long days of torment, I thought that I was again lost; like I was again somewhat confused asking myself if we could really make it, if we could still last for forever, I've got second thoughts in mind, shall we continue or shall we just simply put an end on it? I have to make a confession, I am missing the feeling of being fought for of guy for whenever I told him "I love you" he'll smile and hug me tight and say "I love you more". Well, I have to admit I was again fooled by my mind saying that, we wouldn't last, better yet stop all these foolishness and it until it's still early, we can still do make some remedies about the damages that has been done to our hearts. I mean, we've been so much through already, we both experienced a lot of heart aches and troubles, but now I wonder, we were able to surpassed all those humps in this road of love that we have, so why bother thinking about negative thoughts? Isn't it enough that we have already proven to ourselves that we can make it through forever if we're just willing to stay together. That what we actually have now is something real, with good depths to ponder on. This is not a love story about freaking kiddos falling in love with each other, one sweet summer of their childhood lives. Because now I know, and I've proven myself well that am more than willing to end this world, to stop the rotation of the earth, and melt with him. I'll stop the world and start to make things better all the time.
Now I find it funny how things go. Was him being apart from me for a while also means that I've got this one great realization that changed my whole life? I mean now I know, that was a double purpose in return. Still favorable for me and for him, though I know it's hard to believe, but I was able to grasped and gather all my emotions together as one and finally got the courage to throw all the memories away, to dump in this thing so called trash can of my old real toys. I mean, I have to get rid of him, (my ex boyfriend) as in like totally away from him. That I shouldn't care nor bother about him anymore. That he should stay distanced away from me, that we shouldn't talk and treat each other like how we used to when we still have each other. Because now's a different thing, I have my own REAL and happy life with my present, and I don't want him to mess up with us any more. I love my partner so much that I can't afford to hurt him, by giving him a misconception about I, caring about this guy, so finally, now I learned and understood what's he's been telling me since then the beginning of it all. Now the connection was cut, I don't want anybody else to enter and make another puff in our love affair. That whatever and whoever comes along and tries to confuse me again, and make me believe that they're better than my love, what I have for them, and what can I actually offer them is my hand. My left hand, pushing them away from me, away from us. Cause no matter how hard they try to, it won't make any change at all. It won't change the fact that I am only his, I only belong to him; and he's the only man I wanna be with, and spend my forever.
Now, I am waiting for hours, to touch his lips, and feel his warm loving embraces again. And now I can't sleep for am excited to be with him physically again, though my heart doesn't really miss him like hell,compared to my physical being for he's like been always been here, tattooed in my heart and in my mind. Now am asking a favor, Will you just hold me tight and never let me go? I know this whole things wrong, But baby, we're invincible. Yes, baby, we're invincible. Now, you're giving me so much more reasons to wake up each day and feel better everyday, for I know, I have someone like you in my life. Nothing and no one can even tear us apart~
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