03:23PM, seated in the couch, thinking?
Augh, is it my GIRL PRINCIPLES, or is it JUST ME? :O
No, seriously. Is it my girl principles over what I really want, is it just me? Haha. Last night, while I was listening to the radio, at 90.7 Love Radio, with Papa Jack. I don't know what to call myself, was just I dreaming? Was just a hopeless romantic, or was just a bummer? Damn, I was in deep trouble, for I was feeling the pain of the caller, I couldn't just imagine how Papa Jack did such a *sweet* favor for his caller. "Assuming lang ba ako, for 2 years, we've been friends.. No, I mean, more than friends, but of course, less than lovers". We're on the same boat, again. GIRL PRINCIPLES, or my WILL TO POWER? Augh, you've got not choice, you can't do anything, but go on with the flow of your friendship slash relationship. :)
You're extremely tired of guessing about what stage are you two in already, like.. "What's the real score na nga ba?" But since I am girl, I shouldn't ask, I should wait for the guy to confirm his *feelings* for me. "Are we just friends, or are we MORE THAN THIS?" Forever mind boggling, this will remain as a mere "puzzle game" if YOU won't ask the person involved. I was just like really stupid last night, for I kept on smiling, statements from Papa Jack were all touched. Like yea, (sinabi ko yan lahat sa sarili ko, I've thought all of that too) but it's just too hard to apply it on myself, you know, self biases. :) Hahaha, it's like a magic, but at the same time, a curse for girls like me. "Never assume, but if you want, you can hope". Notice my logic, it has the same meaning, right? But I guess it differs from it's own intensity, well, depends on how you view it. :)
It's like this, "Kapag nag-assume ka, parang umasa ka narin. PERO, parang lang. Not exactly umasa". Haha. But, here's the real deal, girl won't hope, if the guy's not giving him hopes too :) What's really painful is that when you learn to realize that those are just "FALSE" hopes. "That moment when you felt and thought that he's really in to you, but the REAL thing is.. He's just really nice to you, cause you're also nice to him, or.. He's seeing that he can take you for granted because of your actions." No matter how hard you try to keep your feelings apart, it will still show. He can still feel it, not unless he's numb. :) "MANHID". Seriously, (MANHIND AKO.) Acting maybe, but no.. "WALA NAMANG TAONG MANHID, UMIIWAS LANG." It's either he/she doesn't like the person or, he/she's too afraid to fall again and eventually get hurt again, and worse.. Feel miserable about it. :)
Well, we all have this certain careers and paths to undertake, not just in our simple living and survival.. But even in the most complicated part of it, "Relationships that includes LOVE, ATTRACTION and AFFECTION for the opposite sex." I can't say that it's easy to fall in love, for in reality, it's the complete opposite. It requires a lot of patience and understanding, plus the unexpected sacrifices and obstacles that you have to overcome. If you're not strong enough, you'll end up in the loosing end. Even if you get hurt, no matter how many times you fall down, when you know in yourself that, that person's worth the pain, sacrifices and everything.. Then, congratulations.. "You're in love for the right reason, and for the right person." For we all know that you can't do things, extremely DIFFICULT things if not for the person you're offering such a sacrifice or deed. :)
I'm not complaining for I haven't found him yet, for any reasons at all.. I'm just too thankful, that I haven't experience the saddest and darkest things in life YET. I don't wanna be a bitter melon someday. Haha. I am not yet ready for THESE STORM YET. Well, I'll just keep myself busy on preparing my heart and myself for his arrival. :) Even though I can't wait to meet him~~ :)
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