1:29AM, Sunday.
"So, I'm single, with no intentions of looking for a guy, this time I'm letting him find me." :)
Wow, so I just got home a few minutes ago, I had fun! 'Twas my friend Jared's 18th Birthday and my Youngest Brother Jacob's 16th Birthday today (May 06) I'm posting this blog entry late already 'cause, I just got home, and yea, I partied. Well, to tell you frankly, I didn't party hard tonight! Very indifferent, I suddenly felt shy, no. Let me scratch that, I ain't really shy.. But I feel like I was shy. Haha, spell awkward, I don't know to begin with my entry tonight. Just so you know, I'm a bit tired, well, seriously, I'm really tired for all the happenings this day. So okay. Here's my itineraries :)
I've got no plans of waking up that early today, actually I alarmed my phone at around 10:30am, but ginising ako ni Mama, gosh, I was shocked, just a few minutes more, than I'll get up narin naman, haha, bad trip lang talaga :)) but anyway, I had no choice, I don't want her to reprimand me na naman, it's very early kaya, plus kakagising ko lang. Who wants such treatment di ba? Alright, so I immediately went down and help her prepare for lunch, and I fixed her grocery items, we're all expected to move quickly, kasi Jacob's visitors are coming ng merienda time :) So yea, I swept the floor pa nga e, and then do those shanghai wrappers get detached from each other, and those onions and garlic be skinned deep, haha (what a layman's term) got those quail eggs out from their shells, and voila! That was a hearty meal from Mama, her chicken pastel, super delicious, I missed her specialty kaya, and I'm really proud kasi at least I became a part of it, an immediate part of it! Haha. So yun nga, I woke up too early, so expected na, super antok din ako right after doing those things, I went back to bed after helping Mama :) hahaha, ang sarap din ng tulog ko, and then when I woke up na in the afternoon, all his visitors were there na, and they're all eating.. Obviously, nahalata nilang bagong gising lang ako. Oyea. :)
So that was all fine. I greeted everyone naman, ate merienda with Mama and Andre, and damn confused, whether to go or not? To go or not? To go or not? Haha, I ain't that certain pa nga kasi, you know, awkwardness :) Lol, but then, carry on. I decided to go! Super prepared yata ako? Like, omg. Am I too beautiful or mega over dressed for his dinner party tonight? Haha, damn :) twas a struggle kaya, I put on makeup pa, fixed my hair and everything, boom! Sobrang ganda ko, bakit ganito? Life is so unfair, walang nasalo yung isa? HAHAHAHA. Sorry na, glam and fab chic kasi ako e, with finesse, class and sophistication :> Well :))
I thought of not coming na nga rin, kasi I have this feeling na baka ma OP ako. Buti nalang, I'm such a friendly person innate na talaga.. I called "Aiko" and siya nga yun, haha, I wasn't expecting that we'll bang like that, like, we immediately click together :) E, we just met :) Life is really good, she's pretty rin naman kasi, so wala nakong masasabi, unlike other girls, uber low class na nga, super siga pa, nakaka turn-off, srsly, I can't believe na.. Hay. Sabi nga nila, "how come?" yea, I even asked myself too, "HOW COME?" Aiko and I stood outside for more than an hour yata, ayaw pa naming pumasok, cause we're shy nga.. Since super konti palang nung mga visitors, and srsly, they're all really few, couldn't just imagine why :) The thing is I come. That's all enough I guess :> Hihi.
I was happy seeing him happy with his special day, dancing like super groovy. As in, he's all sweaty na, yet he still keeps on dancing. Although it's weird that am seeing him like that.. Haha, pero naaliw naman ako, in totality, I have to admit it's quite boriiiiiing, for I ain't close with his guy friends. As in, wala naman akong kaclose talaga masyado, we do some chats sa social world, pero not in person, so yea :O "Yung samin ni Jared, wala yun noh. Mga bata pa kasi kami nun e, I can't remember narin naman kung how long we stick with each other e". Those were years ago. And now, we're friends. Just friends. :) Gaaah, I can't imagine I'm talking to his bestfriend that way. And I was totally shocked na he's telling my story with his bestfriend pala, damn! Bakit pati sa bestfriend niya kinukwento niya yung lovelife ko? Hahaha, my gosh. Gracious goodness! So that was epic, what a revelation, riiiiight? :D
Augh, fine, di ako plastic, Ms. Congeniality ako, I tried to greet everyone with a smile, plus yea, his recent ex, na super insecure. Hay nako, why is she like that? Srsly, I didn't like her attitude, plus her get up noh. Well, hindi naman sa pagmamayabang, but we're totally opposites, as in.. The way we two speak palang, wala na siya. Gosh, I am not that hurt na, whenever you know, cause now I know, they're not suitable for each other kaya, sosyal si ex boyfie, jologs si insecure na ex gf :) Hahahahaha. Am not being mean ah, but am just telling a 'fact' a 'known fact'. Super turn-off, she speaks that way pa, boses lalaki. :O Pati yung pagkilos, omg. Naloloka ako, why things happened? Agh. :O but without anything in mind, I spoke and reached out to her, like am real. That was the real me, so I guess, it's not my problem anymore, if she didn't like how I acted towards her. I'm just being polite and with my extreme sophistication, I don't wanna spoil Jared's day. :)
I ain't like her, di naman ako nagsusumbong about childish things noh, I'm a grown up, we're all grown ups na, so, what's her problem? Hay, I just hate it that way, she tried mocking me pa nga e. Di ko nalang pinansin, I did my part, bakit naman kasi ganon, I didn't do anything against her, besides, they're not together anymore, so wala akong inaagaw, kung nagseselos man siya or something, wag na sana niya akong tinatawag na bitch and pinapirate pati mga poses ko sa pictures? Cause srsly, it's offensive, I'm a model in the making, and they're ruining my path career, binababoy nila e. Why do they have to do that pa kasi di ba? If hindi siya or sila ng mga friends niya insecure sa kin? Admit it, I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO OFFEND YOU OR GET YOU DOWN, I'm just being polite, so please, there's no cure for insecurity. Just back off, and accept the fact that things goes like this. :)
I was just too happy that although, I don't have a 'real' buddy there, I was able to make friends with Aiko, in reality and talked about random stuffs, especially about our passion, which is joining pageants :) Well, yea, I didn't feel bored din naman, cause he had and have his ways to make me feel comfortable, for kept on asking me, kung okay lang ako, like, is everything okay, and that am I having fun, ramdam na ramdam ko yung care, I just see it in his eyes, I allowed him to enjoy his night naman with us :) all of us, his family and friends. I'm glad he's a real man now :) Super gentleman. In myself, I'd rather keep him as my friend, than be with him as something more and eventually get separated again, I hate that thing to happen again, so yea, I'd rather be close to him and keep him as my friend. I am picking a choice of a lifetime relationship with him :)
He drive me home naman, with his Papa pa nga, sobrang natuwa ako, he's super tired na, and he left his party for me, just to be sure that I'll be home safe with his Dad pa ah, take note of that, I was damn touched naman, for instead of me making the effort, siya parin tong gumawa ng way para makapunta and makauwi ako :) How sweet of the birthday boy right? :D Augh, I wanna fall, pero I know it's not right, and it'll be painful again no matter what kapag nagtagal, if I learn to hope again for the both of us in the future, so yea, I'll be content nalang kung ano ma yung meron kami in present time :)
WHAT WAS THAT HUG FOR? WHAT WAS THAT KISS FOR? :D Like omg! Pagbaba ko ng car nila, bumaba din siya, and hugged and kissed me. OHMYGOSH, I don't know how to react! Like srsly, is this for real? Is this really happening? Sa harap ng bahay namin? Sa harap ng Papa niya? Sa harap ng best friend niya? Sa harap ng Mama ko? HAHAHAHA. It's a little bit awkward, but yea. THAT HUG MAKES ME FEEL SO SECURED AND LOVED BY A REAL MAN. :"> I know there's no malice. BUT. There's a BIG BUT. I can feel something like more than it. More than this, and so my heart races again, asking myself, "WHAT WAS THAT FOR?" :O
Please, if you're trying to make me fall for you again, I won't buy it this time anymore, but I just love the feeling. I miss his arms wrapping me in. :"> That feeling was awesome, and I was hoping that time should freeze that moment, I want to be him again, like how we used to before. I want to experience "love" with him, again. Now, in reality. Not just in terms of "puppy love" they say :)
But if you want me, make me believe you're really into me. :"> And I assure you, I'll be reserved for you, til we reach the right time, to continue with the PERFECT TIME FOR OUR PERFECT LOVE STORY. :)
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