HOPING I HAVE FOUND THE ONE

Cause up until now, I swore to myself that I'm content with loneliness.

I feel like, I'm in torment. Today is already Monday, 1:38AM in the morning dew. And seriously, I'm having a hard time sleeping, for I don't know. I guess, I'm thinking of a lot of things again. The usual. These possibilities that would actually break my heart. I hate to feel this certain emotion, but sincerely, I'm regretting everything. Up until now. I don't know where to start? Where and how to make things right again? But yea, I believe, slowly, am trying to regain my old self. Well, it's sorta good, but still at the same time, can't go with the fact that, there's still this piece of me, that doesn't want to let go of the past. I don't know. Seriously. This is heart breaking. But I believe my conscience's helping me figure things out and heal me, the wounds induced by my heart. :)

I've got tons of plans this semester break, for I have like 4 weeks of rest and do all the stuffs that I want. Eventually, I am enjoying the life that I have, me having all the freedom- This certain solitude I want to have, me being alone, and thinking over a lot of things. Making adjustments and realizations for me to be better. Luckily, I'm doing well. I can see things going smoothly on my hands. Without thinking of anything related to my love affairs, well.. There are suitors around, guys whose so damn sweet, and making me fall little by little, every time they make me feel like I'm wanted and adored.. But I just don't see yet, myself being into a relationship, 3 months from now. I don't know. But seriously, I don't wanna indulge myself yet, by these guys' idolatry on me. I don't believe that it would easily be called "love". For love is a process, maybe there's this certain aura in me, that these guys would always like to see, and eventually fall for me this hard. (Not to brag about everything that I possess, but seriously, all my of my previous lovers were like saying, they so blessed and lucky of having me as their girlfriend. "EX", of course. Haha)

At the moment, I don't feel like entertaining, but I want to divert and focus my attention to one. Well, it'll be a lot easier for me now, because I don't have anything to worry about, no school related stuff, no stress, no worries. So there's a lot of vibes and tendencies, that in the long run, I'll open my heart again for this someone who can make me whole again. For I am seriously broken. Weird, but it's true. It may not that be obvious, but inside of a rose, there's a decay. :o So much for elaborating, I don't want to foresee what's gonna happen to me in the near future, but hoping that in the following days to come, I'll be like, whole again. That I'll be able to open myself for the right person, and love again.

For this time, I swear. It'll be a mature dealing with the right man. I am not looking, but I think, I have to wait patiently for that someone. I won't drop any names yet, until this feeling that we have meshed and bloomed already. I ain't saying that I have fallen in love to someone again already, but there is a "possibility" that I would fall for him. (Someone I guess, whose efforts are enduring and loving) But, yea. Hush for now. I ain't gonna look, and at the same time, I ain't making any moves. But there's this chemistry~

Hoping I have found the one~ I promise, I'll treat him right. Yes, I am willing to be your princess, just please, don't try hurting me? Treat me with extra care. Please? :)

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TO BE CONTINUED.. ~>