10:58AM, Happy Labor Day!
Superman, swear. I'll be with you someday.
Hello month of May, bye, month of April! :)
And it happens all the time, why do I have to remember sweet sorrows? Sweet sorrows of PARTING? Agh. :'( This shit happens every now and then, I'll suddenly stop from what am doing, then the rest of my day follows, I'll try not to think about, but it's still you.. My universe will never be the same. I'm glad you came. I'm REALLY glad you came, but unfortunately, you left so soon. You've been gone too soon. Too soon that I wasn't even expecting, nor I wasn't even that prepared, you should have told me instead so that I could have given you a grandiose grand exit. :)Baaah! Feelings suddenly falter, 'twas my choice of leaving you, but.. You provoked me to, if you just didn't, then maybe til now, we're still sticking happily with each other. :( "I've searched and waited for you, but I know you ARE worth the wait."
I can't help myself but to ask GOD for my *future beloved's* arrival. Every night, before I go to sleep, every time I close my eyes, I'm hypnotizing myself, making myself believe that I'll meet you there.. The man of my dreams, I'll see your face in advance, in my dreams. Damn.. You're still the very first thing I think of when they say 'make a wish'. :( But I know, making that wish is IMPOSSIBLE already, just like a DEAD STAR, I can't reach for you anymore. I know how ironic it WAS and it IS now. I hate to say this but.. I’m holding back because I feel like I’m starting to like you more and more everyday. Even though I know, I'm off to nothing else but completely NOTHINGNESS of a DREAM. :(
It's sweet, too bittersweet. I WAS your "unreachable star", but that was before. I USED to. For we're complete opposites of each other. But now, the wheel of fate comes in reverse, I'm the one reaching for you now, for you never ceases to "love" me anymore. No traces or even scars of the past. I can't see anything but "hopeless dreams". I dream and hope. I remember how WE USED TO, how we used to love and care for each other so much, how we used to treat each other as young spouses, but now, what's left? We're left with nothing else but complete strangers. :( It's hard how that one person, that one special person who used to mean your 'everything' is now a 'stranger' to you. You've got no choice but to treat him that way, for life is UNFAIR. :(
I mean, I am not complaining that it all happened and it all happens now. But up until now, I still can't see the point, I'm half hearted about this situation that I am into. For now, I may be saying that "I am completely alright, I've forgotten about him a long time ago". But I know in myself that I am just lying, I am trying to cover up things that hurts me inside. I am trying to hide the harsh reality of life to me, for I know.. I'll get hurt, twice of now if I'm still going to embrace it all the time. So, I'm making slight changes in me, being strong and persuasive of being alone. Making myself believe that I can forget him SOON, forget about those MEMORIES and create new ones with my new beloved soon. That, he'll end up regretting. Regretting for what he did to me, surrendering back his love for me, cause he can't take it anymore. He was ALMOST THERE. Really, he was there. But he made the wrong choice for backing off. :(
Those trails, and trials from the past makes the both of us stronger. Even more stronger. I'm trying not to think about you, but it gives me chills, I can't hide it, I still want to be with you, my heart still desires to love you and be with you. I'm longing for you, for that kind of love of a "true beloved". :( I miss you, BOO.
I miss and love you.. I STILL MISS AND LOVE YOU, even though it's killing me. :'(
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