IT'S BEEN ALMOST A WEEK

*Emotional breakdown* *Down on my knees* *Gnashing my teeth*

I badly need a hug. I badly need some caress. I know am receiving a lot from this a another *new* someone in my life. I'm so sorry, am still in my stagnant form, I don't feel like, I've moved on yet. Well, seriously, am on the healing process. Congratulations, to me. I'm having a huge progress. No more tears. No more depression. No more distractions, but still, pretty and spontaneous. :) Although I know tears were like falling, falling like a waterfall, like a drought fallen leaf, am loosing my control. :) I was able to stand up again, with slightly bruised and wounded. But, thanks to my friends, especially Ronald, Zhea and Terence. And the rest of my Philosophy block mates whom always there to remind me, that I'll always be beautiful, there is no need for me to mourn, no need for me to cry, because a girl like me shouldn't be treated like this. No one deserves my precious tears. Oh well, I've got too much flattery on the hand. But yea, no matter how hard I try to resist and hid what I truly feel, it comes naturally from my never lying eyes, the truth, and deepest reality that I "loved" the person.

This noon time, while dressing up for school, I was singing the song, "Fixing a Broken Heart" and up until I reached our classroom, I kept on singing the song, playing on repeat, my classmates seemed to hear me, that's why, *Baaaaam* I again received a judgment, and some girls were like, fucking irritated. (Not to mention the name/s) So, I suddenly stopped, and tried to go back to my senses, trying to revive and shape back my mood. I was too serious, listening and focused on to what our Finance teacher was discussing on the board. (I hate to reminisce, but my latest homework was done by me, with the help from him. And I must admit, I'll miss those times- in a way or two. :p) 2:45PM, 'twas announced to our class that Mr. Resos can't make it for our RC. So, I pulled Ronald and Zhea for lunch. (Breakfast, lunch and dinner for me) we had so much of this heart-to-heart talk again. I hate that I admitted them, that someone in the higher year is already courting me. (Not even considering the fact, that I am still moving on, naaah. I mean, the breakup's still fresh) Well, I don't wanna talk about it now. I'm losing my mood. :o

Cedjap, Zhea, Diego, Terence and Ronald were still with me, around 4PM to 5:30pm, I was hanging out with them, sharing the random things about life. (Not to mention, the you-know-whats) Hahaha, pulled down again, things discussed were all referred and pointed to me. I felt slightly anguished and hurt, talking about the old experiences. Old *happy* experiences from the past. That just all made me laugh. :)) them, trying to remove my billiard ball, numbered 14, part of my I.D. Haha, that's somewhat harsh, but I know they're just trying to see what will be my reaction. But too bad, they won't make me remove it for a while. :p 7pm arrived. I went home, alone. (I know, I can, am strong) I am independent, well yea, am trying. :) I did, and I survived, although I got some invitations from my guy friends. :p I felt damn bored and somehow, ain't used to the sitch, so I went out, Pam to the rescue. I badly need someone to talk to, she listened to me, we exchanged thoughts, and that made my day. Went home at around 9:30pm already.

Goddamn fudge. Good thing, am safe. But really, I enjoyed this day. (Not to give emphasis on these, oh oh, not just one, two, but three people, trying to prove something from me) Hell yea, I'm under renovation still, ain't ready to mingle yet, and I don't think I'll ever be able again. :p I don't need a new one to cover up what I truly feel for someone, nor I don't need to hurry things. Time. Just that. It's the only key. :)

The Bottom line is: I don't a "someone" or two, or even three, to simply disregard my feelings for a person, I don't need attention from people I don't like.

-Good night, It's exactly 2am, less than 3 hours of sleep for me. :o well, it feels good to learn that I am having back the old me, one step at a time. Ciao! *It's been almost a week*