Spell Saab

WHEN THINGS FALL APART...

I didn't know it'll come this fast. A week or two, had passed. I've been terribly worried, thinking about my working situation, same with my habits toward work. Too bad, my heart suddenly gave up. I really don't know what entered my mind, I suddenly resigned. I gave up, too easily. I just let a big opportunity slipped at the tip of my finger... and I just let it happen that fast, without me even thinking twice, of the consequences of my hasty decision. 

Surprisingly, I decided without a word. I just thought it was for the best, that sooner or later, I won't regret resigning from Ayala. But I did, unconsciously. I don't know, it's as if I was once again, half-awake, half-asleep? Maybe, I just gave it up without a fight because I can't stand it anymore. From the beginning, I thought it'll be easy, turned out... I just thought it was. Yet, it wasn't at all. Here I am, still imprisoned with the idea of summer vacation. Still stuck. Would I forever enclose myself in the idea of it, or should I, for once create a step forward to outdo my imagination? - Yes, I am still imagining that I am in my comfort zone... Only to find out, I am in the hell zone of what reality is all about.

It was Friday, a few days after Tyhoon Glenda ruined everything in the country... I was busy "working", when the office guard in our floor, delivered a package to me. It was sealed in an envelope, and when I opened it, I was right, they were chocolates... from London, thanks Tito Leo for being extra thoughtful. Then came Saturday, and Sunday. Still the same old feeling. "What do I really want?" Here we go to such a question that only an examined mind could answer, perhaps. 

Maybe I was just too hard on myself. Thinking on how I'll escape things. I texted Tito Leo if he'll be free anytime of the day to talk about things, hence, it has been almost three weeks since the last time we see each other... So, we needed to catch up, and he noticed an unusual smile from me, I guess? That made him think I'm into something that is isn't really well. 

And he was right. Came Tuesday, it'll be Ayala's Awards Night at HyvE. Too sweet of my Mom, that although it was raining really hard the whole day, she still manage to come with me, and assist me. See? She's indeed a stage mom. From that very first day I started job hunting, my interview... until now that I'm working, she's still gleefully present. I somehow enjoyed the party though I needed to go home early since Mom is waiting for me, to my surprise I got a text message from Tito Leo, saying that he sent my an email regarding job vacancies already. 

So everything came in a blast the very next day. It was Wednesday, and I really don't know what bugged me, and whatever gave me an idea that I should, well... most likely end everything. I just got bored, or I just don't know what I was really doing. and then this opportunity came. Freedom. I'm going out of work. I resigned... and then that's it. Now, I'm becoming clueless. Maybe, I just wanted to relax, to sleep. To just go back to my summer days, without stress, and all? 

Yeah, I'm waiting for a week or two or I don't know. But I'll be waiting for the next big thing in Ayala. =)