UNLEASH THE SCHOLAR IN YOU.

Disclaimer: This post is long and contains a melodramatic insights. Nonetheless, it's the 28th of the month, last leaf for the month of February.

With my panelists and thesis adviser :)

Yesterday, I posted something that says... "Everything will be okay. Trust me. - God". I got those jitterbeans in my knees. Really, I was shaking and so nervous. I couldn't find myself inner peace. Only to find out that it was only last night wherein everything has sink in into my head. It'll be the defense the next day. Whatever I do in the span of an hour during the discussion and panel grilling would either make or break me. Just the thought of it, makes me cry. The only thing that made me stop and chill is that sms my adviser sent me. "Rest well, and see me before the defense." By that, I felt alright. I heeded her advice and hit the sack early.

I finished my entire thesis at least a week before the final submission of the draft, without the technical revisions yet, of course. Hence, I made it a point that I have included everything I wanted in it. Writing about Kristeva, is another story. I encountered so many heart aches and troubles, thinking that I wouldn't create a plausible and meaningful study about, because indeed, she's quite difficult to understand. But, with patience and hard work, I was able to embrace her. Today, 28th of February, 11 o'clock in the morning, I opened my discussion with a PAINTBRUSH. (everything else that happened in my defense is now a part of the history). I was bombarded with so many questions, and I tried my very best to answer them with all my might. Staying humble of course. (another thing my lovable adviser told me right before I entered the defense room). I couldn't say that it was easy, in fact, it was difficult. Having Ms. Darlene Demandante and Mr. Raniel Reyes as my panelists- indeed an extra flavorful ingredient to the success of my thesis. And of course, I know that I'm in good hands, she didn't leave my side, she was even there during the grilling. With Ma'am Marella Ada Bolanos, I would've not unleashed the scholar in me. Without my panelists' questions, and suggestions, I wouldn't feel like I made a good thesis. I didn't see it coming, it was only a dream a year ago, only a drawing to my imagination, until today. I made it possible! It was two nights before the defense, when I decided to watch the movie, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, surprisingly I didn't know that I could actually use it to answer and relate it a particular problem in the grilling awhile ago. Bonus part of the day: The Venerable Master shake hands with me, and congratulated me for what I've accomplished.

And as I leave home this morning, going to UST... I asked a sign from God, I even made a promise to my Mom: when I receive a mark of at least a Very Good, I'll enroll to the Graduate School. Meaning, Philosophy is really for me. I'd give up my Law School dream and continue what I've started. And tonight, I find myself crying out of happiness. I made it! Thank you, to all those people who supported me in this venture. I would've not make it without you, guys. I am now proud and got the right to call my self as a philosophy student. Cheers!