Do not disturb, the blogger is on keys

October 19, 2012
Friday: Do not disturb, the blogger is on keys.

Hey, there. So what's up? Mind you, I'm writing this post systematically and sincerely thought. I missed you. Yeah, I really do. Nothing much, I'm writing tonight for a very pompous reason. And that is because: I have no failing grades. I was able to passed all my subjects for this semester. I wasn't really expecting for this. I thought I'd die over this Saturday, oh well.. It's a good thing that I was able to view MyUSTe Portal for those deficiencies, and I do not have any.. Well of course, excluding those for the second semester. My heart is extremely glad right now. If I won't let all these things out, then maybe I'll burst at any time. Like, seriously. Upon knowing that I passed Pol Dy (well, not to mention Scholasticism, I made a remedy for that subject through some connections..) And yeah, I almost jumped off the cliff, my eyes twinkled. I was dumbfounded that Pol 221 wasn't not even there on my list of deficiencies. That only means that I passed Sir Rigor Pascual's subject. Yessss. I passed his subject. It's like really strange why I'm so much overjoyed tonight, 'cause really.. Not in my dreams, I was down on my knees, waiting for a miracle to happen. And GOD did gave me one. He listened and always listens to my problems. HE never fails me. HE never failed me. I'm so much thankful to St. Jude as well, the Saint for all hopeless cases, it's a good thing I attended the Holy Mass earlier. I dropped by St. Augustine church, just so in time.. I was able to hear the Mass.

So this is, I have roughly 3 semesters left to go. And I don't know what to say. Yes. I made a promise that I'll work hard this coming semester already, for.. That was the last. I told myself, that was the last. I have double my hard work this time, so the next time that grades will be released, I ain't gonna feel nervous and all that anymore. Oh my gosh. I feel so overjoyed, just when I thought I'm going to fail Pol Dy, maybe that's the reason why, I immediately thanked Sir Rigor through Twitter upon receiving the good news. So yeah, before all these things happened, like.. A night before all these chaos, I was reading a book. A good book of Mitch Albom: "Tuesdays with Morrie", my all time favorite book of all times. It never fail to touch my heart, and make me cry. Just a few points from the author, Mitch Albom himself got me really attached and here are some of those:

"So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning" Maybe because I got too dumbfounded, I was too busy looking for myself, that missing piece of myself, I don't get to realize that I'm like wasting my time searching for 'something' I shouldn't.

"The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in." And "Love is the only rational act." Indeed, love is the only rational act. That's the reason why, people nowadays are so strange, especially teenagers, we take things for granted 'cause we believe there's love. Just when I thought.. "We had the right love at the wrong time."

Everyday, have a little bird on your shoulder that asks:
"Is today the day?"
"Am I ready?"
"Am I doing all I need to do?"
"Am I being the person I want to be?"

I don't know. I really don't know. I am clueless about this issue yet. But there's something more, something more that my eyes couldn't see, my ears couldn't hear. I'm temporarily blind and deaf. "Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live." Why is it so hard to think about dying? Maybe because most of us all walk around as if we're sleepwalking. We really don't experience the world fully, because we're half-asleep, doing things we automaticall think we have to do.

"Love each other or perish." Without love, we are like birds with broken wings. You need someone to probe you in that direction. It won't just happen automatically. Well, what I'm doing now, is detaching myself from experience. But detachment doesn't mean you don't let the experience penetrate you. On the contrary, you let it penetrate you fully. Take any emotion. Love for a woman, or grief for a loved one, or what I am going through, fear and pain. If you hold back on the emotions, if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through them, you can never get to being detached. You're too busy being afraid. You're afraid of the pain, you're afraid of the grief. You're afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails.