Long boarding with Jared, and his Pandora. :3 Goofy traffic jam with his car, Karen. :)
Ugh, today is Sunday, and guess what? Instead of sleeping all day, we spent the day long boarding, him teaching me, and me? Learning so much from him, though he only bought Pandora last Monday. :) Ugh, since 'di kami natuloy yesterday, to my surprise, natuloy kami kanina, without any plans after all. I wasn't even expecting for another invitation from him, for we talked last night na "Hope there's still a next time", ugh, I wasn't expecting naman na, ganito kabilis, a in right the very next day na agad. Haha. But oh well, it happened. Good thing, nagcheck ako ng phone which I don't normally do. "Pwede ka ba today?" Around 1pm yung message, omigosh, one hour bago ako nagreply sa message niya e, and according to my brother and my Mom, "Replyan mo na, wag ka nang maarte dyan, pakipot ka pa. Di na nga kayo natuloy kahapon, see. Nag-eeffort at di mapakaling di matuloy yung lakad niyo!" HAHAHAHA. Frustrated and disappointed kami parehas, but yerp, here we go~
Okay fine, so I called him using my Mom's phone, since.. It was her command, and wala nga akong load, that's why, I said.. "Hey, I got your message, this time, game na talaga ako." "So, susunduin na kita dyan? Ngayon na? Nasa Bustos na ko e. Sige, pupunta nako dyan". Heck noooo. Haha, paano ako kikilos ng sobrang bilis? Di pa ako nakakaligo and everything, halos kakagising ko lang, magbibihis pa ako. Super tensed ako earlier, for I don't know what to do, as in, paano ko pagkakasyahin yung one hour or less para mag-ayos ng sarili ko? My gosh, as in, that was terrible uh, then he told me.. "Magttravel pa naman ako e, so maybe kasya na yung oras?" Hahaha, yun ang sobrang di ko masagot, but then, I said.. "Sige". So yea, I rushed, suppperrr. Napakabilis ko kaya, imagine, kung gaano ako kabagal, first time kong magmabilis ng lahat. Haha. Too bad, I know, di talaga enough yung preparation ko today, compared yesterday, but the thing is.. Tuloy na talaga kami. My fault yesterday, I guess. Sobrang nadepressed ako nun, at the same time, siya rin, as in.. He was calling me pa nga daw, but out of reach yung phone ko. But srsly, twas not my fault naman talaga e. It's Globe's fucking inconsistency. Ugh, but anyway, what's important is, nag-enjoy kami today, lalo na ko.. I guess, nakalimutan ko yung mga problema ko, though wala naman yata talaga :) Haha. I know, we're just like creating our own problems in life, kahit di naman talaga :)
After an hour, okay, it' now 3pm, dumating na siya, nung una, medyo off way pa.. Kasi nga, it's been a long time narin, since you know. Then, I saw a grey car. :) Tapos may sticker ng "De La Salle University" :) Baaam. Sabi ko nga ba, it's him e. Then, "Nandito na ako sa tapat niyo". Haha, I got his message, yet, medyo pa-effect na kunwari di ko alam na siya yun.. He opened the front door of his car for me.. "Sabi ko nga ba, ikaw yun e." Then our joyride has begun. Haha, "Handa ka na bang mamatay? Alam mo bang first time kong magdrive nang walang kasama?" "OMG, Jared, di ba safe driver ka? Ayoko pang mamatay." HAHAHAHAHA. Then we both laughed, for the first time din, a guy fetched me with his car at home. OMG, super pogi points. As in sobraaaa. 1000000000000x. To infinity and beyond, though. Uhhh, wait. Stop. Ang dami namang nililibing, ang traffic masyado. "Ibangga ko kaya tong kotse ko? Haha, nga pala, welcome to my car, meet Karen."
"Patinigin ng sneakers". I showed him, haha. "Ecko? Ay hindi, Adidas". "Kahapon, nung dapat susunduin kita, sumakay sakin si Mama, kasi ayaw pa nga akong payagang magdrive mag-isa, then, ayon, okay naman na daw pala akong mag-drive, kaya eto.. Eto tayo ngayon." :) Oo nga naman. "Wait, Jared, is this your Pandora? Wow, ang cute naman, it's too long nga pala noh. Btw, why Pandora?" "Kasi may letter "P" sa siya sa middle". Okay, so yun pala yun, but in fairness, I like the design. (Pardon, I can't upload the pictures yet, yung usb connector ng phone ko, nasa condo, tomorrow ko nalang uupload) Haha. Anyway, I find him cute today, swabeng swabe lang magdrive. And it's a good thing, kasi di masyadong mainit, nakisama samin ang panahon. Haha. :) For quite some time, nakapunta na ulit akong Bustos, Decemeber pa yata yung last time e.
"Welcome to Bustos" dumaan kami sa may bridge and sa may arc. Ugh, pero wait, di parin ako makagetover. "Are all these things really happening, or nananaginip lang ako?" Ugh, ayokong mag-assume. Okay? :) "Malapit na tayo, sa may simbahan tayo magtuturuan." Pumunta muna kami sa house ng lola niya, nag-park ng car. Then, ayon, kasama namin si Wayne and James. (his cousins) and yerp, kilala ko sila :) Ehhh. Ang cute nila, tapos marunong pa silang mag-bike. Sobrang naiinggit ako. Haha. Wait. Ngayon ko lang napansin, may dala pa pala siyang helmet, yung helmet ni Yssa :) Okay, kaya naman pala maliit, kasi.. Sakin niya ipapagamit, kamusta naman 'yun di ba? :) prepared, yun lang yung dala niyang helmet, para sakin lang talaga. Ahaha, so talagang tuturuan talaga niya ako, seryosohan? Haha. Oh well, I thought, it's gonna be super hard, yet.. I trust him na kaya ko. "Learn to let go, when to let go actually". "Wag ka kasing matakot"
Inisip ko nalang, nandyan siya, and inaalalayan naman niya ako e, in case na malalaglag ako, I wore the helmet pa nga e, although for a short while lang. Haha, I felt quite stupid narin kasi. Haha. Kidding, pero kasi sabi niya, requirement naman yun e. So, I have to follow him, haha, ayaw pa nga niyang ipatanggal sakin e, pero since pasaway ako, tinanggal ko parin. Haha. Ang init kaya, tapos mag-skate ako? Ehh. Okay, so how was it? Actually, 'TWAS FUN. As in sobra. Nag-enjoy ako, as in sobrang happy. :) The thought na, 'Di ko yan kaya, ang hirap niyan, baka malaglag ako." I've got tons of what ifs and fears.. Yet, at the end of the day, "I did it, and I'm so proud of myself". Yung mga bagay na inaakala kong di ko kaya, kaya ko pala, I just have to trust myself. :)
3:30-5:00pm nasa may church lang kami nagtuturuan, in all fairness, medyo matagal bago ko natutunan yung mga basics, well, MATAGAL talaga. Haha. Pero kahit na, I'm glad natutunan ko, 'Hindi tayo uuwi, hangga't di ka natututo." Oh well, halos naman yata natutunan ko, kung paano magboard nang mabilis, smooth and rough coarse, how to carve, how to jump while riding the board :) Lahat yun, natutunan ko. Haha, sayang nga lang, mas masaya kasi magboarding sa church, but since, may Mass ng 5pm, we transferred sa Bustos Memorial, and we stayed there til 6:30pm yata :) It's so peaceful sa place na yun, though I know kung anong klaseng lugar yun, pero.. Go parin. :) Dun ko na natutunan yung carving and jumping while it's moving. Yea, it's DIFFICULT. It is really difficult, but he was there at my side, at my back, assisting me, supporting me, just in case, I fall down. :"> We like held hands unconsciously, and almost hugged accidentally, his arms around almost around my waist, for I'm jumping by the board, while my body's tilted to the right and vice versa. He made positioned my shoulders legs and hips in curving, he made pagpag of my maong pants pa nga e. :)
Oh, wala na pala si Haring Araw, nag sunset na :) it's time to go home, it's almost 7pm na pala. :) Grabe, sobrang tagal pala naming nagkasama today. At ang tagal ko rin bago natutong magboard ng wagas :) Nang walang support from him, nang ako lang talagang mag-isa :) So, when we're about to cross the street na, para sumakay dun sa L3, pabalik sa house ng Tito niya, dapat sa likod lang kami sasakay, pero sabi nung Tito niya, siya na daw mag-uwi nung sasakyan, so ayon.. Siya yung nag-drive, kahit medyo madilim na, well, as in madilim na pala talaga. Then, kasama pa namin nun si Wayne, then sabi niya "Ikaw nalang dun sa harap, tabi kayo ni Kuya", then he smiled at me, differently. I don't know what's with his smile, again.. I'm starting to think and tremble, ano ba? Ano ba talaga tong nangyayari? Bumalik na kami sa house nila Wayne, then I met his lola, I remember tuloy nung kami pa.. "Lagi kang hinahanap sakin ng lola ko". Wala lang, bigla lang sumegue sa utak ko. "Anong oras ka uuwi?" His lola uttered, "Pagkahatid ko pa sakanya". "Hello po, sige po.. Mauna na po kami". Then, ayon, hinatid na niya ako samin, ugh, it's late na pala.. Quarter to 8 na yata nung dumating kami sa bahay. Before akong bumaba ng car niya.. "Bukas ha". :) He wants kasi na sabay kaming lumuwas ng Manila tomorrow. (Inaaraw-araw na pala niya ako) Since Friday magkasama na kami e. @.@
Ayoko naman kasi talagang mag-assume e. Di ba, wala lang to? pero di ko na naman mabasa tong si Jared e. :| Since Friday magkasama kami.. We're having constant communications din naman, he's always been the one initiating our talk pa nga e. He even asked me to visit him sa La Salle, he'll introduce me naman daw to his friends, then we'll go home together, pinuntahan niya ako sa UST, sabay kaming umuwi, ininvite niya ako kahapon, kaso di kami natuloy, kanina, ininvite ulit ako, tapos ayon, finally natuloy na.. Sinundo niya ako samin, tapos hinatid din niya ako.. Bukas naman, sabay daw kaming lumuwas. Ehhh. Di ko alam kung anong nangyayari sakanya, bakit umaasta siya ng ganito towards me.. :|
I'm trying to convince myself not to feel something more. I know, it's just 'plain' friendship I guess, I don't wanna put malice naman sa mga bagay na pinapakita niya sakin. Ehh, I'm really confused, he's not like this before, he'd never been consistent since then.. But, the thing is.. "Why does he have to do all these things for me?" Is he like making me fall for him again? Ugh, srsly, di ko talaga mainitindihan e. Pero, kahit kanino ko naman itanong.. They've been like answering na.. "There's something more". Wag kang tanga, wag kang magbulagbulagan, pakipot ka pa e. Ehh pero naman kasi, ayoko lang talagang mag-assume. Natatakot akong masaktan, srsly. I'm not being pessimistic, but I'm just trying to see things in it's different dimensions, di naman pwedeng one sided lang. What if nag-aasume lang pala talaga ako? What if wala lang naman talaga tong lahat di ba? Pero.. At the same time, "Actions speak louder than words". Di naman na dapat sabihin minsan e, di ba. You'll eventually feel it nalang, and mas lalo pang makikita mo yung sincerity niya sa mga mata niya.
As much as I want to, ayokong bigyan nga talaga ng another meaning, yung kung ano man yung 'friendship' na meron kami ngayon. But, I just can't help it. People around me kasi e, what to ba? "Adrienne, kung wala lang talaga yan, kung wala lang talaga siyang nararamdaman, di ka niyang pupuntahan sa UST, di ka niya ipagbubuhat ng mga gamit mo, di ka niya pipiliting makita over the weekend, di ba nga.. Di kayo natuloy kahapon, e paano ngayon? Uh, halos inaraw-araw ka na o".
Eh, baka naman kasi, gusto niya lang ng 'kaibigan' di ba? Nothing more, nothing less than that pa? Fine, ayoko nang magtanong ng kung ano ano pa sa sarili ko. Ayoko nalang ding mag-isip. Let it flow, go with the flow, kung ano mang mangyari, if ever magiging kami man ULIT, ehhhh. Bahala na. Basta ang alam ko ngayon, 'WALA LANG'. I don't know, but I'm trying to ignore my feelings. To grow it deeper. (if ever may nafifeel nga talaga ako ngayon) as much as possible, gusto ko nalang i-enjoy yung kung ano man yung nangyayari samin ngayon. :) Di nalang ako mag-eexpect, para di ako masaktan. :)
PS: Di na daw uso ang masyadong pakipot at hard to get ngayon, kung makapagpakipot naman daw kasi ako, wagas. Haha. Fine, I'll cross the bridge when I get there. Sasabayan ko lang. After all, Single naman ako, kaya free na ako. :)
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