YOU WOULDN'T KNOW

Have I told you that I have a secret? Well, it's a secret. That's why you wouldn't know. Everyone has a secret. They keep them as sealed as possible, and the words will only spill from the mouth of the person who hides it. It’s seems useless though to say what you’ve been hiding for a moment, since the person you’ll see ‘deserving of your secret’ would be the one to fail you. But that’s life. Nothing’s worth keeping anyway.

But I beg to disagree that nothing’s worth keeping. Everything which occupies much of your time and patience is a complete deal. But secrets will always have their way of unveiling, and forming a person’s distrust. Through the ‘slip-of-the-tongue’ or the ‘I-intentionally-mean-spilling-it’, the dangers behind every secret lies ahead. The secret itself is not alarming. It’s the strings attached to it which make it complicated.

So here I am again, trying to fix every bit of confusion you left. Still trying to mend the broken heart of yesterday. Still trying to release the tension in my chest. But there’s something I can’t recover from - the intensity of the love I’ve given you every single day of your life.

You wouldn’t know how small things mean a lot more to me, or how simple heartache can cost much pain. But the fact that I said “yes” and “I want to be with you” means that I am more than willing enough to share my life with you.. That I am more than willing enough to stand with the people from all walks of life, and deliberately say what goes in my mind. You caused me so much happiness and pain. And I’d rather feel both at the same time, just to have you close to my heart.

But you wouldn’t know how it’s like to be a girl - someone who’ll wait for you without being asked. Someone who’ll spend the rest of her day thinking about making you smile. Someone who’ll never get tired of chasing you, hoping for your return. You wouldn’t know how it’s like to be me - when all I do is think of you, no matter how life gets devastating, and no matter how painful it is to stay here with you on the other side of the coin.