It's past 3AM, yet am here, seating on my bed, facing my pinky laptop, trying to talk to you again, Dearest Blogspot. Gahd. You've got no idea on how much I miss you, like hell yea, damn, I miss you badly that it hurts already, you're killing me.. Slowly, you're tearing me into pieces. Sorry, for I know I owe you a lot already, haven't talked to you since then I forgot that my heart is actually beating. I don't know exactly on when and how I acted like this towards him. I must admit, I am beginning to be cold. Yes, I am. I'm quite bothered, why am I like this? The past few days, we were like in super good terms, not until.. Uh, now I know. Last night? Oh maybe because of.. Yea, I am again feeling really irritated, I don't know but because of this damn 548 Heartbeats his friend gave me to read, all of my emotions suddenly puffed out! I became really sweet towards him which yea, I must admit, I really don't do. (Even to my exes, cause I don't feel like showing how I truly feel, especially at times whereas am feeling mushy all the way. Hahaha. I don't know, it's as if, they shouldn't know how mich KILIG I am.)So yea, maybe Michael's different, that's why I have to guts to tell him "sometimes" what I truly feel, at times when I am totally pissed and devastated, like hell no, please don't you dare talking to me.. Or else I'll kill you, but I really don't know what's with him, that I kept on breaking all these norms am used to. Is it because am really into you, that even my nerves can't break down for real? :)) Gracious goodness. (KANINA KO PA GUSTONG MAGWALA) But it's as if, I can't, somebody's controlling me, telling me.. "Please do not, moreover, DO NOT GIVE UP ON US" Please, just hold on. Though I know it really hurts and sucks inside already. :( And by the way, congratulations.. You made me feel jealous, like I acted so dumb, so sorry, so hey you, see? That proves I really love you. (Grabe, first time ko yatang nagselos, or naging feeling ewan ko ba kung hysterical or something, basta. Parang kakaiba lang yung naramdaman ko upon seeing it, haha. Ang weird lang kasi, I don't really get jealous easily.) Maybe because, I trust my previous boyfriends, but please don't get me wrong, it's just that, I know you're different. (Maybe because, nakainstill na sa utak ko na.. While you have a girlfriend, you do have another, uh, maybe, not into something that you're really two were committed, but hell yea, this is what I usually hear about you. Am so sorry, but I just can't control my mind.) I know you're feeling the same, or.. Thinking all these this and that of me, that yea, all these "tamang hinala" they used to believe in. But please, wake up! The mere fact that I have him out of my life, is a big achievement already, (see, Blogspot, I know who know whom am referring to) You're a living witness how much I feel for him before, that 'twas epic. Right? :) Haha. Awesome I know, but have gotten him out! For real, we're now the best of friends. Apart from that, no more. Nothing more, and nothing less. My love for him used to be unconditional, but see, everything has it's own end. Everything has a reason, always remember that. Maybe it ended because, I'll meet someone better, someone whom I can call "MINE" forever. Haha, I know, he has arrived. :) And he's with me for quite a short while only, but it seems so long since then this story of us has actually begun. :)
Now, my love for him (this guy am currently into, well, I know you pretty know him so well too already, that almost all my entries here were about him.. Cause yea, at the end of the day, when everyone's peacefully asleep, when all the lights are off, when everyone's at peace, here I am, I know I can't deny it, that what's inside of me, were all simply thoughts of him. People change, and so feeling as well. :) But I promise, my love for YOU will never perish, I will love you til the last breathe of mine. I SWEAR. WALA NG BAWIAN PA. :) So please, do me a little favor.. Please stop being JEALOUS that easy anymore? Please? (Para naman mapayapa na tayo parehas) Stop thinking that somebody will get me from you, cause I will never ever let anyone do that. Not unless you push me through. "Dyan ka naman kasi magaling e. Sa pagpapalayo ng loob ko sa'yo". Parang ngayon lang.. I let you go to bed, although alam ko na alam mong, masama yung loob ko sa'yo..) Sorry if am being selfish ah, but it's what I feel eh, I don't feel like talking to you about stuffs tonight, kasi nga.. Sinimulan mo ko e, if you just didn't say those this afternoon, maybe we're not like this now. I'm so sorry if am like this again to you. But I don't see a point, of you blaming me naman e. Right? Anyway, parang nagsasawa na nga yata ako sa pagsasabi dito kung gaano kita kamahal. Naku. "Masama ba 'to? Pagod na ba talaga yung puso kong magmahal at tumibok nalang ng tumibok para sa'yo?"
I remember and uh, yea, 'twas actually you who remembered it, you were singing that Itchyworms song for her nung Quadri Countdown. "AKIN KA NALANG" AKIN KA NALANG, IINGATAN KO ANG PUSO MO. Hahaha. Sige na. Kayo na.. SAKANYA KA NA, AND SIYA NAMAN SAYO NA." BAGAY NGA KAYO E. =))))Seryoso. :)) Tapos ako naman, kanino nga ba AKO nung mga panahong yun? :)) Kay Mister Legma? Kay Mister 1Pol1 or 1Pol2? Or kay Mister 1ECO1? Or kay Mister Educ? Ay joke.. Kay Mr. Pharmacy yata. =))) HAHAHAHAH! Hindi! Dun talaga yata sa tiga CEU? WEH. Seryoso. Di nga. DUN sa tiga LA SALLE! Tamaaaaaa? =))) Makabalik na nga lang sa mga panahong yun, tutal it isn't too late pa naman e. Nandyan pa naman sila, naghihintay. :))
The hell. I don't know what's happening. What seem to be the problem with my heartbeat why it stopped beating, that I can't hear anything from HIM anymore. Duh, MISTER HEARTBEAT? Where are you? Why leave me so soon? :| HAHAHAHAHA. Joke lang, I was just kidding. :) Whatever happens, I know you know, it'll never change. Cause no matter what happens, life goes on. It will always be just YOU AND ME pulling each other back, laying our warm hearts and body as one, kiss and cry at the same time under the rain will share the same pillow and blanket, hold and hug each other, and never let go. :*
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