Love me if you dare~

Love me if you dare

All the love's still here I just don't know what to do with it now.

I am a living a paradox. 

Unfortunately, why does life have to be so ironic? It's been months. Roughly seven months to be exact. Well, we're not together, I mean we're not committed with each other... But there's something "beyond" what we have right now, that's pulling me back. That is making me stay. Frankly, I do not know why, I do not know when, it just happened. As in one snap, I became totally different. And he's becoming indifferent. Sadly... Things are becoming even more crucial, and complicated. I do not know where to stand anymore. I'm clueless what is exactly happening. Hell yeah. We're on a hiatus relationship. You may even call it a pseudo-relationship. I really don't know... But one thing's for sure, that is, the feeling I have for him has well, grown. I just don't know whether this is still good, or something I should stop? 

I've been terribly depressed, I don't know how to express myself, since I rarely late already. I've been really busy, thinking about so many possibilities. And let me reiterate, "thinking..." Maybe, I'm just thinking, overthinking... And yes, creating stories, and illusions on my mind, thinking of the possibilities that isn't happening yet. In short, ATAT ako.

With all these things, "I just want answers to my questions left answered," why he just suddenly stops reaching out, barely, we won't talk in a day unless I beep his phone or send him a pm on his Facebook again. Really, bumbaliktad na 'yung mga mundo namin. Ako na 'yung nangungulit sakanya.

Hence, I really don't know when to stop. Cause I'm afraid, my feelings for him would falter, sooner or later... It'll just slip off my hand, what we have will suddenly be gone. I am not sure if I'd like it to happen. But as much as I want to, I wouldn't want it. Nonetheless, I really don't know. If he has his reasons why he's doing this to me, the sudden coldness...Well I leave it all to him. I'll just be here, anyway. I'll wait 'til I can. I just hope when that time that he'll come back, I'd still be here.