Hey there, Blogger. Seriously. I missed you, sorry for being offline these past few days, wasn’t able to update about me. But, I’m keeping a journal with me, jotting all the things I have experienced since then Monday, now, it’s Thursday. Nothing much, but yea, I just want to write something tonight, to spend some time with you, for I know, I really have to. Yes, I’m alone right now, as in physically alone in this room. My brother went off home for he has to get something, asked for additional allowance from my Mom, for I have spent a lot this week. Quite busy at the same time, no let me scratch, I’m not that busy with my academic life, it’s just that, I guess I have a lot of things to accomplish over time. You know, since then, I started cramming I felt like, I have to this thing, for I find it really fun. Haha. Just like right now, I’ve spent my whole day happily and fruitfully with my girls and guy friends, the troops. Just the presence of a guitar, and everything turns out well. Terence, Mikee, Diego, Jessie, Meg, Josh, Christian, Luis, Kyle, Dopps, Arvin, Louie, Cedjap, Nigel, Jam, Venus and Jinny. I love my troops so much, and I guess, I couldn’t ask for more.
Tonight was fantastic, spent our time at the Quadri park, talking about nonsensical things, but no. For philosophers like us, everything is important, everything must be given an explanation. We only had Statistics for today, damn it. Ma’am Ledesma was quite lazy again this afternoon. Haha. No. Again, let me scratch that, all the time. Ma’am Yanga, Visco and Redona were not around, so we decided to discuss about some things. Yea, I enjoyed playing Fruit Ninja earlier. Haha. (Binuhos ko lahat ng galit at sama ng loob ko dun.) Omg. ‘Twas totally a fun day. Sincerely, I’m feeling like quite lazy of the things that’s going on around me. Same stuffs and routines every day, nothing so new. Have nothing to look forward to at the same time, since it’s the month of February. Haha, I may sound like I’m sour grapping. But, it’s Single Awareness Month. Spread some love. Hihi. I have nothing to look forward to, since then this month entered. Love Month. Valentine's Day? Oh well, sort of unusual this year, first time that I won't be having a date with a certain 'special someone'. Instead, be spending it with my troops. :* Love you so much, guys. >:D< You're making me whole again~ January 30, 2012. Monday. Smile, Ade. You have your beautiful friends with you. ‘Taray sa kalsada, oozing with confidence. Kung maglakad with poise and everything .Maganda siya e. Pang Ms. Universe’. –Ma’am Doray Lintag.
Ugh. Srsly, sobrang nakakahiya naman kay Ma’am. Tapos sinabi pa niya sa buong klase namin, ode mas lalo naman akong nahiya. Haha. Idk. Wala lang, since it’s a Monday, and it’s a start of a new beginning for me. Well, I should stay beautiful and keep my head up high. Tama nga yung mga friends ko, hindi ko dapat sayangin ang kagandahan ko sa napakawalang kwentang bagay, at mas lalo sa napakawalang kwentang tao. Since then, I talked to my last resort, naliwanagan na ako ng mga dapat kong gawin. Dapat ding i-avoid. I have to ignore and stand up tall, have to be firm with my decision. For seriously, we’re over, sa dami dami ba naman ng mga bagay na sinabi niya sakin, hindi pa ako magigising. Wow. Simply the best. ‘Gagamitin ko lang siya, kukunin ko lahat ng pwede kong makuha sakanya, tapos iiwan ko na siya’. Despite everything, eto lang pala yung intention niya. And in the first place ,wala naman pala siyang balak na seryosohin din ako. Kung sino naman daw pala yung mauna during those times na sinusuyo suyo palang niya ako e. Wow. Kala mo naman kung sinong gwapo, marami pa palang ibang options. Sorry, sinagot kita. Nahulog ako sa patibong mong sugar coated words and super sweet gestures noong mga panahong ‘yun, pero at the same time, marami ka rin palang bagay na sinasabi against me, that I’m childish, insensitive and etc. Haha. Well, enough para i-elaborate ko. Sayang yung effort sa pagttype, ang importante ngayon, nakawala nako. And I regret everything. I won’t waste my time talking about him. basta, alam ko sa sarili ko na, ‘yun na ‘yun. Enough na siguro yung eleven days na nagpakatanga ako, and nagpagamit. I’m an intellectual person, I won’t allow such a jerk to simply ruin my wonderful life. " Sobrang feelingero kasi. " "akala mo kung sinong gwapo " "Paawa sa mga girls to get their attention" "pakitang tao" and "plastik".- Anonymous. Hahaha. Sobrang nakakaawa naman. Enough. Hush, Ade. Humahaba ‘to, talking about this nonsensical creature. This animal. Eew. So kadiri.
January 31. 2012. Tuesday.
Ignore. Stand tall. You will find your true love in 8 days.
Pity love turned out into immediate hatred. Grabe. Ang galing galing ko talagang mambrush up ng tao. Ay mali, hindi pala tao, halimaw pala. Halimaw sa kapangitan. Haha. Yay! This day is so fulfilling. Ignore. Stay pretty. Btw, Happy Birthday Baldo. Ay joke, Jessie pala. Haha. The best ka talaga, Lino. Pinasaya mo kami, binusog pa ng bonggang bongga. Imagine,7k nagastos mo sa amin? Haha. Naempacho naman kami sa kinain nating lahat. Tapos, may cake pa. the best, kahit 7pm na uwian natin. Naging sobrang saya parin. Tropa e. Troops forever. Hahaha. I ignored him thrice. Brushed him off like hell. ‘Mula ulo, mukhang paa. Ano bay an, puro kapangitan kasi pinaiiral e. Kawawa naman. Tsk.’ Haha. I may be mean, but it’s all true naman. Baka kasi akalain niya, wala lang. Joke lang ‘tong pang-iignore ko sakanya, pero.. Seryosohan na talaga ‘to. Tinatapon ko na siya sa basurahan (ulit) kasi dun ko lang naman talaga siya napulot e. Binabalik ko lang. Haha, okay. Enough na ulit. Masaya, basta sobrang saya, siguro kung hindi ko nalaman yung mga bagay bagay na ‘yun from my last resort, hindi parin ako matatauhan. Buti nalang, I took the chance to talk to that someone and learn about the real side of this monster. Literal monster, inside and out. Gosh. Okay lang naman sana, kung pipikit ako, at ififeel nalang yung fake actions na pinaparadam niya sakin e. Pero gosh, lahat pala yun, fakeness lang talaga. Ganun talaga siya sa mga babae, kapag may gusto siya, gagawin niyang lahat. Hahaha. Ngayon alam ko na kung bakit. Now, pinapakita na niya yung tunay na siya.. Kasi. Hahahaha. Sorry ka. ‘Laking pagsisisi siguro nung gagong ‘yun! Swerte lang siya, sa’yo siya napunta’. Hahahaha. Pero, past is past. Anyway, kung last week, puro ka-emohan ako, ngayon, naitatawa ko nalang lahat, pity love turned out into extreme hatred na nga lang e. Hay. After all, ‘yun lang pala talaga. Pity you. Kaya ka pinaplastik ng mga tao sa paligid mo e. Magbago na sana siya, habang may panahon pa. Akala ko pa naman, siya na. ‘Yun pala, nagmahal ako in the latter ng isang ‘fictional character’. Di naman pala talaga nag-eexist. Buti nalang, lately ko nalang siya minahal, pero ayan, na-put into trash lang din kaagad agad. Sayang. Pero, okay narin. Masaya nako ngayon e. I quit, good bye for real.
February 01. 2012. Wednesday
Love is in the air. Ramdam niyo ba? Haha. It’s February, Happy Single Awareness Month!
Positivism, cheer up. Walk with oozing confidence and poise. Smile always, love yourself more. And continue inspiring others. Spread some love in your own little ways. For today, I have these quotes of mine to ponder on. ‘Don’t be affected. Well, you shouldn’t be affected, no matter what. Ignore. Keep living, I know somehow it still hurts to face the reality that you loved a fictional character. But letting go, is the best decision, dropping him off is the best choice you’ve ever made. It’s all worth it. He is not worth it. Move forward, keep smiling.’ I just have to continue reminding myself that I’m keeping a planner with me to organize my life, to keep tracks of me. To keep it right, to make things right again. To have that direction back again. Be firm with your decisions, don’t hesitate. for, ‘To hesitate is to die’. Be strong. We don’t need space from someone we love- BUT. If that person’s not worth it, don’t hesitate. Without a single word? Leave. Drop him off. Live life to the fullest, you’ve got tons of reasons to be happy, you are not alone, stand tall. Well, if you know it’s not worth it anymore, that’s the cue to stop fighting for it. I decided that I wouldn’t let you bother me anymore. Because the world has bigger problems than my disappointed little heart. Haha.
Ugh. Here’s the thing. Nagpahula ako sa Quiapo kanina. Ito lang yung mga hula sa akin na tumatak sa isip ko. I translated it into English, kasi I wrote it in my journal. So yea.
Family: There will be no problem. They’re all supportive of you. Nothing to worry about, especially with your Mom, she will surely help you in all aspects, no matter how hard it would be.
Studies and Career: I will pass a major exam that is very difficult. To be specific: Bar Exam. I will travel abroad and find my luck there. Good health, good life. You are very patient in dealing with everything; you will surely succeed with the things that you like. You shouldn’t doubt, you have to be firm with your decisions. You will be financially stable because of your determination. This ‘guy’ is hardworking, he will help you, and take care of you.- referring to my future husband.
Friends: They will stay by your side. Just learn to choose your friends. You’ll be having a harmonious relationship with them. Just keep the communication.
Love life: Breathe. You have nothing to worry about. You will surely have a loving, loyal and faithful husband in the future.
Have I met him yet? If not, when? – You have already met. Maybe a childhood friend or acquaintance from the past, but you have already met him. In 2-3 years time, you’ll be together. But since your Mom doesn’t want you to commit yet, (you know that). Chill. But one things’ for sure, you’ll be lucky with him, for he will be a responsible, hardworking husband.
‘You will surely have a loving, loyal and faithful husband’. Gosh. Can’t get over with this, after kong magpahula. Sobrang saya ko lang, kasi.. Sobrang gaganda nung mga sinabi sakin nung manghuhula, parang overview lang talaga. Haha. I have a feeling na in some ways, totoo naman ‘tong mga ‘to. Kasi last year, nagpahula din ako, nagkatotoo naman mostly yung mga hula sakin. Wait lang, I know I’m sort of contradicting myself, kasi naniniwala ako sa mga ganito. Eh, Philosophy major pa naman ako. Hahaha. Pero, let me scratch that. This is just for fun, wala lang. Gusto ko lang magpahula, kasi gusto kong magkaroon ng inspiration and ilolook forward to this whole year round. Haha. Kung last year, nung nag Novena din nga pala ako kay St. Therese, at natupad yung sign ko. Tinupad nung recent ex ko, well.. Di naman siguro masamang medyo umasa rin ako sa hula sa akin this year. Natutuwa lang ako ng sobra. Medyo nag-iisip rin kung sino nga kaya yung guy na tinutukoy dun sa hula? Hahaha. Naisip ko naman, hindi pwedeng si Halimaw e. Kasi, dun palang sa “Loving, Loyal and Faitful” walang wala na e. Goshhh. Naeexcite ako dun sa 2-3 years time na ‘yun. Hehe.
‘The hardest thing in life is pretending that you don’t need someone when you need them most. Uhhh. As much as possible, I’m trying not to recall of our memories anymore, but I can’t help it, since February 14 is fast approaching. Haha. But yea, ignore. Hindi naman pwedeng baliin ko na naman yung stand ko. I have to make a stand nga e, and be firm with it e. Medyo mahirap, pero kinakaya naman. Papanindigan ko na ‘to. Wala nang atrasan.
Ways to make her happy:
~Make her feel that every day is valentine’s day.
~Only LIE to her if it involves SURPRISING her.
~Get to know and get along with her FRIENDS and FAMILY. Show her you want to be a part of her LIFE.
~Send her a cute goodnight text while she’s sleeping so she wakes up with a smile on her face.
~Kiss her on the forehead.
~Just make her your only girl, they want to know you love only them, show her
~Have those “I LOVE YOU MORE” fights with her.
~Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, just tell her jokes.
~Play with her FINGERS, she loves the way your hand touches hers.
~TELL her all your SWEET MEMORIES together. It will make her smile that you remember the moments you’re together.
~Express that you miss her when you’re apart.
~Treat her like gravity. You fall for her every day.
~Buy her a single rose instead of a dozen
~Just be with her and don’t break her heart ♥
Awww. This would be the very first Valentine’s Day, na I won’t be having a ‘special someone’ to celebrate with. But yea, that’s alright. I know someone in the near future, would ease away all these pain inside of me. I just have to wait, patiently. Panghahawakan ko for now yung 2-3 times nung manghuhula sakin. Kung sino man ‘yun, na hindi ko alam kung sino talaga, hahaha. Pero, curious talaga ako e. Nameet ko na siya. Hmmm. Kung sino ka man.. Sana bumalik or magpakilala ka na ulit, Soon. Please? :)
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