I love you so much Mr. Accountancy slash Mr. Philosophy. :P

What a wonderful night to end my day, oh. Actually, to end my week. Tomorrow's again Sunday, been to the Mall with Mom and Andrei to buy my dress for my 18th Birthday, damn feeling. Am so tired of today, but I wish to end up talking to you, Dear Blogspot, it is in you, and only in you where I could actually tell everything; everything inside of me now. Everything inside of me that's crazy beating. I don't know, but this is a weird sitch. Why so? This is madness! I am IN LOVE again, but now I'm sure this is HARDER. I love him so much that I can' t let go of him although almost all the people around me doesn't like him for me. Just recently, I've realize that "Ang love di election! Di mo kelangan sabihin kung kanino ka boto. Hindi naman sila yung makikisama sa kanya e. IKAW e. At tanging IKAW LANG AT KAYONG DALAWA. So bakit mo papaniwalaan yung sa sinasabi nila? Bakit mo sila susundin e hindi naman yun ang gusto at sinasabi ng puso mo?" Come on, Adrienne. Wake up! I thought you're a genius hermit? :P

It's the 3rd week of our love story, I never knew it would be this "deep" already. Deep as the ocean, that it is as if, everyday, every now and then we get to discover a lot of things from each other. But what actually makes it sweeter is the fact that, after all those fights, at the end of the day, we're back into each others' arms. The heck, he always makes me cry in front of him, I feel uncomfortable at first, but then.. I realize, he was the first guy whom I cried in front of. "Ang swerte naman niya, iniyakan ko siya.. Haha. Grabe, nasabi ko nalang sa sarili ko. Ilang beses na nga ba? Duh. So ibig sabihin mahal ko nga siya? Yessss naman! Tama. Lumelevel na nga ako. DI NA AKO STONE". Miss PLAY GIRL is now changing. What a fulfillment, she's no longer playing with the fire burning, she' no longer playing with the feelings of this GUY. Honestly, at first, I told myself. "Sige nga, trial lang naman to e. Susubukan kong magbago. Another variable. Pero hindi. Hindi ko pala kaya. Mahal ko pala talaga siya.." My friends even told me.. "Ohh. So kaya pala di mo siya maiwan iwanan, kasi may nararamdaman ka na pala para sakanya. Nakakagulat naman. Di mo man lang kami binigyan ng warning." I didn't answer nor bother, for I don't need to explain things to them, I even told myself, "You people shouldn't care of what I actually feel for him, if you don't like him, then be it. Fine. But, I love him, no matter what you told me about him, great. Yea, it won't change my feelings for him. He may not be the first guy in my life, there may be a lot of guys who went UNDER me already, but he's the first guy whom I given this sincerest "I love you too". Hopefully it wouldn't change 'til the end of time, honestly, this is also the first time where I get to feel this damn happiness, just by me being with him everyday makes me feel joyful and grateful. But, I see.. I am having lesser time with my studies, lesser time to review. :| Hopefully he'll get to understand all these things soon. I won't be staying away nor leaving him, just please, how I wish he could understand that we have to study hard first. :)

Just one thing I really doesn't like about him-- Not doing his academic stuffs because of me. :( It has always been me. I was always been the reason of him, going home late, not making his homework not not studying for his quizzes. Damn I am feeling guilty, reckless and most of all a BAD INFLUENCE for him. Tsk, he's the first guy who acted this way towards me, the previous ones were like acting hardworking guys in their studies after getting my sweet yes, but him. My ghally. So different that I wanted to slap him sometime. Haha. "Kasi naman, ang kulit e!" Tss. Last Friday was the best part of my seventeen years of existence (in terms of love affair) I cried in front of him, insisting that I don't feel something for my ex-boyfriend anymore, which is so true. But he doesn't want to believe me, because of my actions "DAW" but I don't see the point, what we actually have still, is this mere FRIENDSHIP. Nothing more, nothing less, I told him.. He's now my present, why put back and talk about my past? The hell, it irritates me every time he brings forth this trashy little shit of my life. I cried that I felt so ugly after crying in front of Plaza Mayor, a lot of people staring at me, prolly asking on themselves, "Why on earth was she crying, are they fighting or what?" Haha. Damn, that strange feeling I've had had last Friday. By the way, I have a confession to make, but please don't make ASAR of me uh! :)) I was actually all set of going home last Friday, my things were all fixed already, I ate my lunch and waited til 3PM to see him again, waiting for a text from my Mom. Then Ate Myka told me, "Wag ka nalang umuwi, magkwentuhan nalang tayong tatlo nila Bannag sa Starbucks mamayang gabi.." Haha. I stopped and stared at her for like 5 seconds, and immediately rushed over the phone and called my Mom. "Ma, I won't b going home today, bukas nalang? Para di na ko mapagod. Kasi di ba, pupunta naman kayo dito bukas? Pagdala nyo nalang ako ng damit ah. Yung maganda ah." Hoho. Epic win! :)) Then, he texted me, cause we had an agreement that he'll cut his English class to fix everything that we've had had last night and the unfinished conversation at noon time. So there, I immediately rushed to UST and leave Ate Myka. Haha. =)) My bad. I really don't know. 'Twas my first time of spending time money for a guy, to feed him for he was hungry. "Nakakainis lang kasi talaga, nako. Napaka epic fail. Susubuan pa kasi ako ng lasagna, napaka arte. Yun tuloy, nalaglag sa damit ko pati sa skirt ko. :(" Huhu. I felt so messy and ugly after. Grrrrrr. Anyway, he still has one class to attend to, so yea, I went home and dried up my clothing, thanks to my blower. =)) At around 5:20, we meet again at the UST Chapel, it has been almost a practice of us of attending the mass. So there, but I was late, so damn. Wasn't able to feel the Eucharistic Mass so much. 'Twas drizzling then, he got my phone and tried to scrutinize things again. (BV. Alam naman nyang yun ang pinakaayaw ko e, tapos patuloy nya paring ginagawa. Pikon na pikon na talaga ko. Ang kulit. Shemay. Wala naman kasi siyang makikita dun at wala din naman akong tinatago. Hanggang sa nagtampo na ko ng tuluyan.) But when he asked sorry, pakipot padin ako. Haha. Bakit ba? Para kasi alam nyang ayoko ng paulit ulit tinitingnan yung phone ko. Lagi nalang ako pinagdududahan. Sige, pagdudahan mo pagmamahal ko sayo hanggang sa magduda narin talaga yung puso ko sa nararamdaman ko para sa'yo. We waited til the last drop of the drizzle went off. Then out of UST already.

Anyway, di ko lang talaga maimagine na I cancelled my day of going home because of him. Just to be with him. HAHAHAHA. OHMYGHAD TALAGA! :P We went to Starbucks at around 7:45PM, when Pam, Crissa and Ate Myka were already there waiting for us, we had a nice conversation with this Bibbo Kiddo Leonard, he was awesome. I salute him for making himself study all alone, no money coming from his parents. I pity him but I adore him for he's been doing. He shared a lot of jokes to us, and yea. The best part of the night when Ate Myka sermoned on me. "Sermoned at Starbucks" XD I get to realized a lot of things, a lot of things that made me wonder. "Oo nga noh, tama. So, maling mali pala yung mga ginagawa ko dati. Mali palang nanglalandi at nagpapaasa ako ng lalaki. Nagpapafall tapos iiwan din pag nafall na sayo. Mali din pala ang pagiging two-timer, ang pagkakaroon ng maraming "syota" at kafling. What the hell, Adrienne. You're a legend. Ang tibay mo, hirap mong patumbahin. Haha. We went home at around 10PM, curfew almost rung. Bade goodbyes, I love you, and I love you too.. Longest and warmest hug I have ever given to a guy, to a special someone. :) And yea. See. This is madness. In all fairnesses, am thankful. Because of him.. "I AM CHANGING LITTLE BY LITTLE". :) Hopefully he'll remain my constant reason to CHANGE TO THE FULLEST already. :*

I love you Mister Perfectly Imperfect. :) Thank you for making me feel real love. :* I love you, soooo much. So much that you always give me a damn reason to change these secret dark sides of me. :D

- I love you so much Mr. Accountancy slash Mr. Philosophy. :P