TO THE GIRL WHO THINKS SHE'LL BE ALONE FOREVER

You are amazing, you know that, right? You are beautiful, strong, confident, carefree, passionate, and independent, which sets you apart from the conventional chic. You are no damsel in distress and definitely not a spoiled little princess. You choose to be alone rather than to take another shot in love because you’re scared that your heart might get broken again. A lot of people keep on telling you — try to convince you, actually — to go back to the dating world and just enjoy the ride because you’ve been roaming around the independency lane for quite a while and someone needs to pull you out of there.


Don’t get me wrong; everybody needs to learn how to be independent. Having alone time is healthy, but a lifetime alone? Well, that’s a different story.

It’s great — remarkable, perhaps — that you manage to eat alone in a fine restaurant, shop alone, cross the street alone, go home late at night alone. In fact, the list of things you can do by yourself is a lot like an old scripture filled with endless sorceries. You see this as one of your strongest traits, but in reality, it’s the opposite. You got so used to being alone and succumbing into your own puddle of loneliness that when someone tries to save you from drowning completely, you push them away.

You’ve been through a painful breakup and you got your heart broken over a million times; that’s why you’ve put so much effort into keeping your guard up and showing everybody how strong you already are. You stand up quickly after a terrifying fall, you show an adequate amount of vulnerability at the perfect moments, you work your ass off 24/7, and you handle criticisms well and even use them as your daily motivation. You show the people around you that problems are to be faced, not feared. You’re like everyone’s walking, talking silver lining. But the truth is, dear, being the bearer of hope is a tough job and because you give so much to others, you’ve lost some for yourself. You need someone who will give you hope and care for you when you’ve given away all that you have.


No, you don’t need someone who will buy you things and take you places; you can do that on your own. But you certainly need someone who will be there for you when your shoes give up on you, when they’re too tired to kick any more ass or take anymore names. One day, you’ll meet someone whose arms will always be ready to reach out to help you, because you can never carry all that baggage and all those burdens alone. Someone whose eyes will see the beauty in you despite the sweat, dirt, and eyebags you’ve accumulated, because you truly are a beautiful creation despite or in spite or because of your hard work, and if you don’t appreciate that, they certainly will.

Their mouth will speak of your imperfections, yet their mind will still search for you and you alone when it wanders, because nobody else can make their day better than the girl who knows her way in this crazy world. They know that you are used to being alone, but despite all your efforts to push them away, they never leave. They work their way into and around your life, carry you when you’re tired, make you laugh after a long day of work, and understand you when you start to be your usual stubborn self.

When you meet someone who will do and be all of these for you, don’t run away. Take your chance, accept the challenge of falling in love again. Take the chance to just be genuinely happy.

You cannot be alone forever. You cannot run away from love and stay in your comfort zone for eternity. You have to go back out there, fall in love, fall out of love, get your heart broken a million times more because after all the pain, the payoff is close at hand. You are one hell of a strong girl, so why let fear consume you?

I know you love how your life is, but I guarantee you that it will be so much better when you have someone to share all your achievements with. Honey, having someone special in your life doesn’t mean that you have to give up your independence. They are in your life in order to guide you, inspire you to work harder, and comfort you when you’re on the verge of breaking down. You need someone not because it is a norm in society, or because everybody else does, but because that’s what life is about — union, and sharing victories that are not just yours, but the both of yours. Together.

WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER DATE A PHILOSOPHER

Philosophers can be very difficult people. They are picky and like things a particular way. They are egocentric and often a bit brutal. However, they can make for good partners, only when they are ready for it.

There are a lot of reasons to fall for a philosopher, but you should know what you are getting yourself into.

If this philosopher is honest, then he or she is likely to warn you that if you are getting into a relationship, it’s likely to be a bit of a rollercoaster:
1. We think we’re very smart and can be very stubborn.

We often think that we are smarter than we actually are; we are definitely ones to argue and will try to convince you that we are right, even if we aren’t. It’s difficult for us to swallow our pride, so instead, we argue our case until you can prove us wrong. We are almost never the ones to admit we are wrong. However, because we are logicians, we can’t argue against solid rationale. Just don’t expect us to make the argument for you.
2. We can love very deeply, but rarely allow ourselves to.

Maybe it’s all the novels we had to read in college or all the papers we wrote on theories of love, but the majority of us do believe in love. We may not believe in the idea of soul mates, but we know that loving deeply is possibly. We don’t fall in love often, either, but when we do, we go all in. The problem is trusting a person and liking him or her enough to open up.

Allowing yourself to love is basically agreeing to take on a new part of you. It’s the fusion of the lives of two human beings. Love affects us, our thinking and our decisions more than anything else on this planet. There is literally nothing more powerful or frightening than falling deeply in love. We aren’t always the bravest bunch.
3. Since we question everything, we will inevitably question whether or not we love you.

Call us idiots, but it is what it is. When you learn to question the little things in life, you will certainly question the biggest things. We don’t like second-guessing ourselves, but matters of the heart are very important to us; we would hate to think we are making a mistake. Hopefully we come to understand that questioning love is a good thing; it keeps everyone on their toes.

Relationships require effort from both sides to keep passion alive. If there is passion, we don’t question the relationship; we feel excited, so we have no time to question it. It’s when things start getting comfortable and we start hoping for challenges. We don’t like things that come easily; we like to work for things. We like the game. If we understand this, and the person we are with understands this and feels the same way, then it is possible to lock us down.
4. Our heads are our playground, and we may spend more time in there alone than some may find acceptable.

We are thinkers; some of us are talkers, but not all — unless you get a few drinks in us, of course. In all seriousness, though, we enjoy staying in our own heads a lot of the time.

If you’re high maintenance and on the needy side, you won’t get the attention from us that you need. When we do give you attention, however, it’s likely to be undivided. If we love you, we’ll do our best to stay with you in the moment whenever together, but if we happen to drift off, give us a little pinch and we’ll float back down to reality.
5. We’re lone wolves by nature and sometimes still think we’d be better off alone.

This is the biggest issue. We’re not 100 percent convinced that we need someone to share our lives with. We like the company when we want the company, but we like being alone a lot of the time, as well. It may seem as if we are pushing you away at the time, but we’re not; we’re pulling ourselves away to get the space tat we need in order to be the people we want to be.

Unfortunately, this is not something that can or should change. You have to accept this part of us because it’s a part that’s here to stay. This gets difficult when our lovers need us in conjunction with us needing some space. All you can do then is to hope that we’re mature enough to inconvenience ourselves for your benefit.

TO THE GIRLS WHO HAVE "ALMOST" BOYFRIENDS

I know exactly what it is like to be you. You have a guy right? Or so you think. Maybe you have been “talking” for a while now, days, weeks, months, hell maybe even years. Anyways, what I’m saying is that it has been awhile and I’m willing to bet that the large majority of you have never said a word to him regarding your “status”. Which I totally get, because it would be weird and awkward and you think that its better to not ask and not know at all rather than asking and risking getting what you thought was a functional relationship obliterated into a thousand pieces.

So you sit, and think situational thoughts. Maybe you get to a point where you convince yourself that you are exclusive and maybe that he is such a great guy that he didn’t even feel the need to say anything about it to you because he just assumed that you two are dating because he likes you THAT much. Or, you could think that maybe he will ask you to be his girlfriend one day, it’s coming soon so you shouldn’t worry.

The best part is when your friends ask you how you and him are doing right? And you have to make up some BS excuse or talk about last nights’ hook up and how he made you walk home in the cold all the way across campus at 4 am. Chhyeah. They keep asking and you keep telling and you want to stop because you don’t know if it will go anywhere but you can’t so you begin to call him your “almost” boyfriend. Now the word “almost” is a play because to an outsider it makes it seem like you put him in that category because he is “almost” good enough for you but to an insider they know that the almost means nothing.

He’s your “almost” boyfriend because you don’t know what to call him.

You cant say FBW because you don’t even know if you two are really even friends and acquaintance is a strange term because you two probably are definitely more than acquainted with each other depending on the social setting.

The “almost” seems to be a sense of security for some girls, it gives them a chance that maybe if they stick with it, maybe just maybe it will become real. Truth is girls, guys know within the first ten seconds of meeting you if they are attracted to you. They decide right then and there.

There is a time and a place for everything, and if a guy wants to date you then he will.

There is no such thing as this almost/maybe bullshit. Either you are or you aren’t and that’s fine if you want to hook up with people even though you know you are nothing. But that means you cant call them your “almost” boyfriend, because that does not actually exist. If he is not your boyfriend then he is not, there is no need to put a label on it if there is nothing actually going on. And if you continue to do that because you want a relationship, then girlfriend you do you and move the fuck on. Because if it’s been over eight months and nothing has changed chances are it never will. If you really want to know than ask him.

Almost actually means nothing. Girls, please get it through your head. Trust me I know, I’ve done this multiple times and you only get hurt. Every. Single. Time. And as much as you try to mask your feelings, it does not work. It only makes you beat yourself up inside. You all need to know that you are NEVER not good enough for anybody. So to my ladies with the “almost” boyfriends, do yourself a favor. Call them up right now, and drop them, because in the end those are not the guys that are worth your tears, time and sanity. Save it for somebody who cares, somebody like your real boyfriend.

Maybe You’re The Problem: 8 Reasons Why Love Isn’t Working Out For You

Do you feel like you have consistent bad luck in the dating world?


Well, it’s possible that you’re the problem, and you could be your own solution. Here are eight reasons why it’s not working out for you romantically:
1. You Procrastinate


In theory, we could forever tell ourselves that we should not be in relationships until we first become the best versions of ourselves, but we could keep using this as an excuse for ages.


How long will it take for us to love ourselves enough to feel worthy of a partner? Perhaps we are simply finding ways to procrastinate in order to remain single for as long as possible.


If there are things you need to change about yourself, don’t procrastinate. Keep in mind that sometimes, the right partner can help us become the best versions of ourselves.
2. You Don’t Know What You Want


The girl with a hot body is a bimbo, and the smart girl is boring. The funny guy is a player, but the nice guy has no sense of humor. You can’t have it all; no one is perfect.


Make a list of the top five things you look for in a partner; put things in perspective of what is reallyimportant and stop writing people off so easily.
3. You Keep Your Nets In the Water


Part of your problem could be that you like to keep your options open, so you keep your nets in the water and prospects on the backburner for a rainy day.


Perhaps it boosts your ego knowing you’ve got fish in your nets. However, keeping your fish in these nets does nothing for you because you are not truly giving them a chance.


Instead, you should go on a couple dates with each fish and see if just maybe, it’s the right fish for you.
4. You’re Dating People Who Are At A Different Stage In Their Life


Perhaps you are a man in your 30s who has a good career and a solid five-year plan. Are you dating younger women who have no idea what they want, are between jobs and at a different level of maturity than you are?


It might help to go for someone who is in a similar stage in his or her life as you are. You need to go for someone who has his or her house in order.
5. You’re Complacent


Perhaps you’re content with the way things are, and you’re too easily going in relationships. It’s possible you are not getting what you deserve because you give the milk away for free, and let’s face it: People walk all over you because you don’t have high enough standards for how you deserve to be treated.
6. You Catch And Release


So, you were really interested in someone right up until the moment he or she started showing interest in you? If you tend to catch and release, you’ll be single forever.


You always want what you can’t have, always want the mysterious one or the one who is a challenge. You’re just caught up in your own game, where losing is a sure thing. and winning only happens when you stop playing and change your mindset.
7. You Have FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out)


If you meet someone great and you jump in with both feet, you could miss out on some other options.


So what? Everyone has other options, but not everyone who is in a relationship thinks he or she is missing out on anything. It’s unlikely that these other options are better than the person you have in your sights because you obviously like that person for a reason.
8. You Pursue People Who Want Completely Different Things Than You


Perhaps you’re the woman who wants a relationship, yet you go after the man who has made it clear that he does not want anything serious. Or maybe, you’re the man who would like to date multiple women, but you’re pursuing women who want monogamy.


Either way, if you keep dating people who are not on the same page as you, you’re bound to get burned.

Never Settle For Someone Who Wants You Over Someone Who Would Do Anything To Keep You

Disclaimer: not my own words

Human beings are almost entirely governed by two instincts: desire and the need to avoid loss. We are loss-adverse animals who constantly want something.

The instinct to want and to avoid loss are so strong and so deeply ingrained in our psyches that we see little purpose to life outside of them.

Wanting to own and to hold on to things is the reason we believe life has value to us as individuals; if we were unable to keep things for ourselves, then we would find little reason to participate whatsoever.

The problem arises when people are more worried about satisfying their wants than they are of satisfying their instinct to avoid loss — when the scale tips in this direction, you have people who attain things they don’t need and then find it difficult to appreciate any of the things they already have.

Not being capable of appreciating the things in your life is one thing — a bad thing — but not being capable of appreciating the people in your life is another.

As a rule of thumb, if you are in a relationship and do not fear the thought of losing the person you are with — if you wouldn’t do just about anything to keep them in your life, if you don’t feel that you need them — then either you don’t have your priorities straight or they simply aren’t worth keeping.

If you find yourself with someone whom you feel only wants you but wouldn’t move heaven and earth to keep you, then move on. You’re not a thing and you deserve better.

But how can you tell the difference?

A person who wants you…

Only gives you attention when it’s convenient. If this person is in the mood to see and to interact with you, if this person wants or needs that interaction, then this person will give you attention.

Otherwise, if this person isn’t in the mood to talk to you, to help you, to spend time with you, to be there for you, he or she will simply be unavailable – until, of course, it’s convenient to be there.

A person who needs you…

Is there for you because being there for you is something this person needs to do. This person needs to keep you safe and happy. This person needs you to enjoy life so that he or she, in turn, can enjoy life.

Regardless of whether it’s convenient or not, this person will be there for you. This person will do anything to avoid losing you, even if it means sucking it up from time to time and doing the little things he or she isn’t especially excited to do.

A person who wants you…

Will keep the conversations to a minimum. This person puts up with you because you serve a purpose.

This person understands that this means he or she will have to talk to you in order for you to feel comfortable enough to allow him or her to use you, but if this person could have it his or her way, conversations would be avoided altogether. This person doesn’t care what you have to say because this person doesn’t really care about you.

A person who needs you…

Will do anything to keep you. This is the type of person who is always interested to hear what you have to say. This person wants to know about your day, to know what you did, what you ate, whom you interacted with.

This person wants to know every little bit about you because he or she is still trying to figure out why it is that he or she needs you so much.

This person knows he or she couldn’t bear living without you, but this person can’t exactly pinpoint the reason why.

This person is in love with you because this person is in love with you, and although that’s enough of an explanation, this person still wants to figure you out.

A person who wants you…

Never makes long-term plans with you and avoids talking about your future. This person doesn’t want to plan any trips for next month — hell, he or she may not even want to plan dinner for next week.

This person doesn’t want to promise that he or she will see you again because it may never happen.

Every time this person leaves you, there’s a good chance it will be for the last time. You never know… maybe this person will find something better, or simply newer, later this week.

A person who needs you…

Has no problems planning trips or discussing your relationship. This person may not be able to promise you forever, but at the moment, he or she sees no reason not to.

During conversation, this person will mention things that you need to do together, that you need to see and experience together.

This person will talk as if the two of you were the same person, living life side by side. When a person needs you — really needs you — that person sees his or her entire future with you in it.

A person who wants you…

Will never love you. If you pay close attention and remain as objective as possible, you can tell how much a person cares about you.

It can be difficult to distance ourselves in such a way when we believe ourselves to be falling in love, but it must be done if you wish to avoid wasting your time and getting your heart broken.

If this person looks at you and smiles and you can tell he or she isn’t just looking at you, but looking into you, then you may have a keeper on your hands.

A person who needs you…

Either loves you or will soon accept that he or she loves you. A person who only wants you will never love you. It can be difficult for people to admit to themselves that they love other people — forget about admitting it to them. It takes some people significantly more time than others.

However, just because people can’t admit it — to you or themselves — that they love you doesn’t mean they will never admit that they love you. You have to be patient with people.

October 25, 2014

Hi, 

I know it's been a while since the last time I posted something in this blog page. Now, allow me to share something  that surprisingly changed my views and perspectives about chances, about love, and about possibilities. I didn't see it coming, but unconsciously it all happened spontaneously. All in one day. 

Saturday, just a typical and ordinary Saturday, a day after a stressful week at work. I have a scheduled date with R and V. Both, at the same date. Supposedly, Friday. But you know how fickle minded I am. So I decided to have it the next day, instead. Plus, I have to meet my College friends in UST, too. So, I just took the opportunity to sleep and regain back my strength. 

The usual, I woke up late. I failed to attend to my zumba class, then checked my phone and yeah, have to rush the shower room and prepare to see my friends. Met Zhea, Inna and Bea. Talked about things, shared a lot of ideas and treated each other as if it was only yesterday since the last time we see each other. It's as if, college didn't slept off our feet together. 

It's almost 5 o'clock in the afternoon, I have to be at SB Intramuros to see R, but since he was already on his way, he picked me up in UST and we go there together instead. It was a short, but tough long drive. He's not the typical guy I used to hangout with, maybe he's a little different... in his own way. He's business oriented, intellectual, well-driven, smarty pants, independent, bad boy, but most of all, gentleman. 

It was like, love at first sight. I felt butterflies in my stomach, all over again. Slowly lingering on me, over intellectual talk, and coffee, at the perfect ambiance, and the solitude of the sunset, slowly succumbing our very being. It was totally magical. I never felt better, until he laid his hand on me, while he was driving... with such a toxic traffic, and this really caught me! He knows his way to my heart. The Notebook. 

He's a business man, having his own coffee shop, a law student, a coffee lover and an intellectual enthusiast. But he's just too perfect to be real. Well, there are really three reasons why we have to meet a person. 1) To teach us a lesson to be learned, 2) To change us either for the better or the worse, and 3) To change our relationship status, and be with you for the rest of your life.

I wouldn't want this day to end, it's as if I living in a dream full of magic and glimpse. Until, he lifted me home and take another ride with V. 

We spent three long hours together, talking about us. Fixed everything that needed to be fix, and forgave each other. I don't know, I have let go but I didn't surrender. Just that, I think now, things are different now. I was happy though. I wish he'll find his own happiness, too. 

I have to admit that I missed his kisses, I know that last kiss stole the last breath from my lips, but I don't know if it would actually tear us apart. I wouldn't want to lose the friendship though, but I know we both like each, and we just can't admit it to each other because we don't want anyone to get hurt. 

Anyway, back to reality. Tomorrow's Monday, and I have to work my ass off again!

21 Uncommon Romantic Gestures That Would Make Any Girl Melt

By: Chelsea Fagan

1. Play with her hair while the two of you are watching TV. It doesn’t have to be complex, just a little light head touching/hair-messing-with will put her into a near-meditative state.

2. Get your dessert to-go at the restaurant so the two of you can eat it at home while watching a movie/your favorite TV show.

3. Instead of just asking her where she wants to go for dinner — because you know that she loves when you put in the effort to choose, but is really picky when it comes to what she wants — give her three options that you want to go to (including one or two you haven’t tried before, if possible). It’s the best of both worlds.

4. If you spend the night at her place (or even if you share the place) make the bed while she’s in the shower or getting ready.

5. When she’s on her way home from a big day at work, text her to be like “I’m ordering takeout from [insert her favorite place here] and opening a bottle of wine. What would you like?”

6. If she’s wearing really nice heels for a night out, offer to grab a taxi as you’re about to head home so she doesn’t have to navigate the treacherous stairs of the metro after a long night.

7. Offer to help her with one thing on her weekend to-do list if you notice she’s overwhelmed. Even just running to the grocery store to grab some basics can be an enormous help.

8. Before a trip somewhere (or just for no reason), get her a little nightgown or pajamas that are both comfortable and cute. We can always use more cute/functional sleepwear, and it’s something we rarely take the time to buy for ourselves.

9. Cup her face gently when you kiss her, especially if it’s a totally everyday, run-of-the-mill-love-ya kiss.

10. Bring her things she loves, but which are not ‘quintessentially romantic.’ A bag of Cheetos, a nice shade of nail polish you liked at the drug store, or a weird t-shirt can mean much more than roses.

11. Cuddle her unexpectedly while in public. Like, put your arm around her in an affectionate (without being over-the-top) way, and let her sort of melt into you.

12. Get the ingredients to make her favorite cocktail and have them waiting for her when she gets home.

13. One day, for no reason at all, call in sick and have her call in sick so that the two of you can spend the day together watching movies, ordering in food, and hanging out.

14. Compile a small list of fun things going on in your city that weekend, and send them to her work email on Friday morning to choose from.

15. Urge her to get the delicious-looking cheese-based dish instead of the salad, because you know she’ll just eat yours if you don’t.

16. Be protective over something small (cute protective, not controlling protective). Like if she’s about to go out and the forecast says it miiiiight rain, insist that she takes her umbrella as she’s walking out of the house.

17. Pack her a lunch for work one day and write her name on the bag in Sharpie. (Alternatively, put a little note on a napkin and put it in the bag.)

18. Attempt to help her with her makeup/beauty routine, even if you’re terrible at it. (In fact, especially if you’re terrible at it — think Justin Timberlake painting his girlfriend’s toes in the “Gone” video.) Alternative: let her test out something on you on a boring Friday night at home.

19. Convince her that you totally forgot to plan something for her birthday/your anniversary/something special, and then at the last minute be like “Sike get ready, we have reservations at 8:30,” and take her to something extra special.

20. Rub her back for no reason.

21. Start watching a show with her and be religious about only watching it when the two of you can watch it together. Waiting on an episode of Game of Thrones so you can enjoy it together is the ultimate sign of love and commitment.