It has been quite a while. Right? I've been tremendously busy these past few weeks. I was in deep turmoil, and even depression. Some sort of, desperation as well? Hence, I somehow feel good now. I mean, I finally discovered what's lacking in me. Good thing, I was able to figure it out. Just in time for the preliminaries, the senior retreat, and more school works coming. I've been a bit preoccupied with so many things. Academe, personal issues, and family problems. That made me sour-group for almost a month. I became a wall flower. Even though, I know you wouldn't believe it, cause it's quite impossible to happen. Thing is, I wouldn't want to go back into that situation, into that feeling of extreme confusion. I even doubted my own "personality". This time, it's not about being drunk that made me not doubt about my existence. (Pertaining to the rationalist thinker, Descartes). Just kidding. Haha.
As of now, everything's back to shape. I can now laugh freely with my friends, talk about anything to them. Without minding other people. Hence, I know I need not to please them. Finally, I was able to let go such feeling. If they would really be needing me in their lives, then surely they won't hesitate approaching me or anything. Maybe, they just got tired. Or I was the one? I don't know. Whichever, likewise. They work just the same. Not that I regret being stoic, or somehow became agnostic. Or egocentric and selfish. But baaah. I conquered them already. I'm back to my strong faith and believe in Him. I knew it. He was the one lacking in my life, that's why I felt alone, I felt lonely and unsafe. Still lucky, that it wasn't too late yet, before I realized things and got reconciled with Him.
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