The "GOOD" Teacher?

My stumbles define who I am now. My struggles now will make me better tomorrow.

 Hence, I quote myself for this. :)  I know, it's been awhile since I last updated this blog. Just been busy these past few days, but now I know, I'm definitely back to blogging. Just recently, I've been a bit preoccupied of so many things as well, made me think less sanely and clearly. This is about the on-going issues about myself,

 Am I ever enough?

 Am I good enough?

What makes me good? 

It's a little bit heartbreaking why I have suddenly thought on these things. This is about a person who made me realized that I am less of a person, less of a competitive individual. Hence, there's this another person totally related to "him" that me realized more that I am the best. Ironic isn't? They are both from the same institution, yet one of them made me feel like I am just a trash, and the other one made me feel like I was, I am the best. Still, I am thinking... Why.

Why is it like that? I can't help myself. :/ Why of all people it was him whom I thought so before would make me feel at ease, failed to do so, yet a total stranger of the same kind made me realized my full, and real worth as an individual, as a thinker. As a potential product of this generation. I can't just barely accept why. For the nth time, why. So many thoughts were running from the past few days, I was even running out of words to say. I became speechless, unproductive and bum.

Did I ever make a mistake that made him doubt about my capacity? About the things that I can do, things I'll still be able to do. I was just thinking, did I ever became a threat to him? Because, really I can't imagine how it happened. An almost perfect, 99 percent versus a stumble.

If only I am not in the right mind to think, I would have slapped you now, with what you did here. What you did to me. But let me just remind you, you are not one-of-a-kind. You are in the same wave length with this new mentor, that entered my learning venture as a student. I see, you are just too high. Hard-headed. Arrogant, thinking that you are good. But no, you ain't no good at all.

Now, tell me, was it worth it? Was it really worth it. Did you ever realized that the person whom you did wrong, would rise up again and come back for a sweet revenge? As much as I want to, I still have another nightmare to encounter, just because I'll be seeing you again. And I have no choice. Bear in mind that, if only I have the choice, I wouldn't mind listening to you, ever again. I won't ever consider you as someone whom I can call "teacher."

You are not a teacher, because I didn't learn anything from you. No, you are not a teacher because you don't teach the right way. You don't use your heart. You are a stone. You are greedy. You are selfish. I am not saying all these things, just because I stumbled. But I just want you to realize that you are not the only one capable. Please don't think you're the only one, 'cause you are not, and you will never be.

I just do hope, someday, you'll learn to practice the role of being a "good" teacher. So that your students would learn and gain at least, something from you. Take note, you are paid. You are paid by us. You do not have the right to oppress us, because we're the one paying you. If not for us, you won't be called a "teacher." :)

PS: I am bitter. Can't you feel it? But it's all done. I have a new life. That struggle you gave me? Yeah, it made me a better person. The day after tomorrow, I'll thank you. Just thank you.

PPS: In this battle, I was not the loser. It was you. Because I gained something from it. Thank you for such an experience. Thank you for the stumble, for the head and heart ache, because of you I met new people. Good people, and I don't regret it. So, thank you! :)