A Million Times, A Thousand Years

May 28, 2012
Monday, 4:22PM
"Meet New People" "Don't waste your time on him"

'Stop giving me false hopes.' I just can't bear with it anymore. This feeling sucks. 'One more fuckin' love song, I'll be sick. Gah, srsly. Four months, exactly four months ago, I was 'taken', I was in a relationship, and now.. Four months. It has already been this long that I've been seeking for love. Love and care from someone I can call mine, someone special, and close to my heart, someone who'll take good care of me, aside from my family. I miss the feeling, this magical I used to feel with whenever I am with someone. I miss those warm hugs and passionate kisses. I miss watching movies, holding hands, eating together, late phone calls at night, unlimited texting. Everything a couple use to do. And now, am stuck at this, watching 'fading rainbows on the ceiling'. False hopes. Huge hopes that turned out to falter and disappear so easily.

I would rather be just friends forever than be your girlfriend and break up, then lose you all together. Yea right. I've been trying to convince myself that we will forever be just like this. 'just like this'. Friends. More than friends, but less than lovers. Cause you can't hold on. You can't drive your own wheel, you can't control me. :( All is well. Okay. I said, I made a promise, and now, I know, it's not gonna workout anymore. Sorry, but I think you've already lose me :) Once upon time, every thing's so well, every thing's so good and greatly in shape, not until.. You've disappeared once again, why can't you just stay close and love me forever? Remain on my side and take care of me for eternity, why can't it be just the two of us?

I'm chasing butterflies, I'm chasing pavements and silhouettes. Taking things one step at a time. Waiting for this blue sky turn out red or purple sky. It's as if, waiting for something impossible to just happen. Waiting for a miracle to fall down from sky. Lonely nights, romantic moments, the love. The love, what about now? I've been trying too hard, too hard to reach out for you. But, I'm at the edge of giving up, I just can't be without you. We just can't be more than friends, right? That's exactly how our story gonna end right? Tears and false hopes. :(

But I know in my heart, that there can't be anyone exactly like you, those traits I've only found in me, that others doesn't possess, makes me sick and wonder even more. Why can't I just have you? Why? It's heartbreaking. For the nth time, it's breaking my heart. But, I want you to know that I will never regret you, or say that I wish I'd never met you, because once upon a time, you were exactly what I needed.

Yea, even though it hurts a million times, a thousand years. Good bye my almost lover. Good bye my hopeless dream.