I'm not scared anymore... you know what I mean?

If you bring me coffee without having to ask, then I love you.

I bleed "black and yellow" :)

Hi, Corporate Saturday. We meet again. :) I feel such a lovable woman. Inside and out. I feel so beautiful and wonderful! And yes, today's magnificently unforgettable. Although, it was raining. It's a rainy day. My heart almost started to rain inside as well... Yet, I enjoyed it so much. Finally, I now have the bragging rights to call my thesis adviser, legitimately. :) Yesterday, Friday. I just had the worst exam of my Philosophy journey, Dr. Co's exam for the gods. So yea, at the end of the day, my friends and I decided to drink to it, right after our exam, at The Pit. I was with the coolest people in our circle, I was with Pops, Aiko, Grace, Dops, Nyny, Rachel, Terence, and the lovely couple, Meg and Kyle. :) I was quite convinced that I'll have a good preliminaries, even good results... Just that I suddenly felt bad during my last exam for the week, which is Chinese Philosophy of Venerable Master, Dr. Co's exam for the gods. Oh well! I'm used to Dr. Montana's exam for the angels. I thought it was it, until I experience Dr. Co's. Dr. Garcia's aesthetic experience, was "aesthetically sublime", though yeah, it's hard if you didn't study your lesson. ;p But in totality, everything seem fine. I just can't accept the latter. Henceforth, let's forget about it! I spent my Thursday, with my beloved friends. Played charades and drink to it! :)

I also passed by our General assembly. The Genesis of my political party, GAP. "Bridging Cooperation within Competition." I just missed them soooo bad. Sadly, I failed to stay at Heaven's Touch for a longer period time, just stayed for about five minutes? It was liberating to see them all happy, with lots of new faces. Frosh people from the Communication Arts, just when I signed the registration... I knew it! I'm the only Philosophy student in the family of the political party so dear to me. Haha. Though, I was quite not feeling well, so I decided to chill with my friends instead. However, I had an awesome booze night for five hours with them, it was hell fun! We were like crazy kids, kicking their asses off, laughing... Insanely. Just to forget about the worst exam we took all our lives! Good thing, we were all together to overcome such depression and insanity. Thanks friends for keeping me, well somehow sane. Thus, I know we can make it all together. Tunay na Tropaaaa!  :)

I didn't know, it was quite unexpected. As in total strangeness that I appeared like... well, somehow a gate crasher to another political party, thinking that I'm not from their affiliation. Haha, but whatever. I did enjoy Dekada's General Assembly. Got the warmest treatment from all of them. Their chairman, Ram. Ate Mikee, Matt and Celine. Plus the "goddess" they call in their family. And well, I forgot to mention last night, when they asked me to speak in behalf of GAP, thanks to Kuya Jeff for inviting me over. I mean, for tugging me along with him. Although I know, he's well... A bit disheartened for whatever shit I did to him last night. I felt sorry for I think I've offended him with my honest answers and revelations I got for those unexpected questions. I didn't mean to be mean, and harsh and brat. It's just that, I was so damn mad last night, I got pissed that it even cracked into my nerves. I was introduced as a girlfriend, without me knowing. Him, expecting for something more from me, without doing anything. He's not sweet, he's not gentleman. Moreover, he doesn't give me butterfly feels. I just hate it. I hate that I hate him, that makes me feel and conclude that I love him. I really do, just because the moment I started to care, the moment I started to hate, that begins loving him. Nevertheless, I realized that what I did to him last night was just too much. I felt the guilt after doing them so. 

Well, I know it's a total irony. Cause they're perennially opposites of each other. But there's something more to it. The only thing I know is that I hate to hate him, because it makes me love him. "I feel sad, I hate to admit, but you're not special. Not just special... Just because I hate you sooo much. I hate to hate you cause that means I love you." Yes. I hate it, I hate you. because what "I" love is not supposed to be you. This is extremely what I hate. But then I realized since I already started hating all those things, that only means one single thing. In case you don't know, just try to figure it out. Henceforth, this is what I hate about admitting my feelings towards another being-- rejection. Well then, if ever I feel rejected, this time I won't feel any regret, just because I became truthful to myself and I dropped my girl principles. That's it. Not my loss. 

Pardon my sensitivity and melancholic, and dramatic mood for tonight. Simply because it's raining. My heart's also raining inside.