Dear Baby girl/ZeeKaye,
Okay, before anything else I want you to know where exactly I am while writing this letter for you. Well, this is not the first time that I’m writing as long as this “note”. You know what I mean. I gave you the same thing, last November, right? That makes it now, a legit story. Anyway, I am inside the car, going home to Bulacan, the day before your birthday. Right after doing that experiment shizz for our group, and mind you, it scares me to death ‘cause it’s raining hard. Good thing, Dad owes me a lot, that’s why he manages to pick me up and lift me back again and my only purpose for going home is to get my gift for you. Even though it’s our finals, and I can’t afford to go home since we’re all fucked of all these paper submissions and exams, but yeah. Though it pains me to demolish my bookshelf, with my collection of books, I’m doing it for you, but not to mention I’m not blaming you or your date of birth. It’s just that, I want to inform you. I don’t keep secrets e. And as much as I want to give you the “best” present ever, (well, at least in my context, I just don’t know on how you’re goin’ to view this gift of mine). But at least, I tried. So yeah, enough with my long intro, you’re used to this anyway, I hope. I’m a person with lotsa long speeches. Happy 29th Birthday! Haha. Just kidding, Happy 19th Birthday, and it reminds me of how young I’ll get tomorrow. See, you’re annually getting old, and at the same time, I annually get younger. How fair life could be, right? So here’s the real thing, since you kept on babbling that you don’t want a grandiose celebration, (like, for three years, I’ve been hearing this from you), I’m giving you this Forever 21 micro mini dress, haha! I’m kidding. I just used the paper bag, for I’m too thrifty, you know how K I am. That even gift wrapper, I can’t provide, well actually, I don’t know how to wrap these stuff so yeah. Serious na. Here are mini burgers and hotdogs for you! Aren’t they cute? (Hey, don’t laugh. Here’s yer handa fer yer 19th birthday, courtesy of me). See, you can celebrate your birthday with these foods without spending too much. And I’m being too sweet for doing this, right? Aside from the fact that these mini burgers and hotdogs are also sweet, who’ll ever think of such weird idea? But admit it; it’s too thoughtful of me doing this.
Here’s the real present I have for you. But before that, let me just reiterate what I’ve told you last Monday. While we’re seated together during our Retorika debate, it slipped my tongue that I already have a gift for you. This is an intentional gift, given that I know, I didn’t spend so much for this, but it’s the sentimental value, it’s the thought that counts with this birthday present I’m giving you now. This is book. Obviously, one of the books I know you’ve been thirsting to have. (Just an exaggeration, but a bit true. Right? Correct me if I’m wrong). The reason why I commented on that post of yours last Monday. “When will I ever have this book?” We did everything adult would do. What went wrong? From the Lord of the Flies, William Golding. Another Birthday wish, granted? I just don’t know if you’ll appreciate this or label this as crap, since this book’s quite tarnished already. I’ve written a note on the very first page of the book. Just read it when you well, open it already. (And why am I being too OC and detailed nowadays?). It doesn’t matter though. I’m talking to myself again. I’m so sorry for the color of the book; it shows to death that we’ve been like through a lot already. Seven years. Seven long and fruitful years, imagine. Couldn’t just imagine that I was only, (uh wait. Let me do the Math! Haha). See, I’m really talking to myself since awhile ago. Crazy. So yeah, I was twelve back then. This is actually one of my favorite books. As in childhood books. At the age of twelve, I was still a juvenile back then. So please, don’t complain and don’t remind me of my age. That…that I’m too old already. Ooops. I’m letting go of this book, (but not completely, ‘cause I know someone’s going to take care of this book, just the way I did, or who knows, maybe even more? Even better than I did). In other news, this book has another hidden story, this book. Seven years ago, when I was still in Frosh year of my High School years, I won the title for the school competition for the Battle of the Books. And I got this as one of the rewards. This is an original copy from the library of my beloved Alma Mater, St. Mary’s College. A reward I treated so pricey. (The rewards include The Little Prince, To Kill a Mocking Bird and the Diary of a Young Girl). Just a tiny sharing. Anyway, as much as I love this book, I’m sort of letting it go. I’m giving it to someone whom I know, would be very glad upon receiving this. (I hope, crossed fingers). No certainties that you’ll really like this, since it’s an old book already. I’m thinking you would prefer a copy that is new, at least. But I’m giving an old one. Again, just the thought of good experiences with this book, gives me so much to reminisce, and that inspires me to give this seven-year old book. Though, I doubt for its real age since I’ve only got this as a trophy for that competition. Anyhow, how I told you and I kept on babbling that you’ll receive an awesome gift on your special day. So here it is.
On this part, I’m already writing around 5:15pm inside my room. I’m currently in Bulacan. I’ll wait for Daddy from his duty to lift me back to Manila, in few hours time. And yeah, I don’t know nor I didn’t really paid so much attention that I’m already writing on the third page of this letter, plus, the essence of writing sincerely has been quite disregarded, but I actually prefer writing this manner. It appears to me like I’m only writing a blog entry for my daily journal. Looking back, it has been three years. Exactly three years. Three years ago, we were just fresh graduates from our respective High Schools, but now we only have a year to go. It pains me how the leaves of the calendars of the years 2010-2013 have passed. I want to spend more time with you, with the rest of our blockmates, the entire family of 3Philosophy. You guys have been my constant companion for three long years, and I can’t imagine that in a span of a year, we’ll all dissolve together as one. And you, being my closest friend? The one I treated as my best pal? Ohhh. I don’t know. I just don’t want to think of it now. I just want to cherish the remaining ten months left of our College lives. Even though, we’ve been like frien-emies, for some time, for we’re like “away-bati” sitch I couldn’t think of any reason on how we’ve came this far. From those petty reasons to the craziest ones, we both manage to stick together. There have been its ups and downs. It was just like a roller-coaster ride for our friendship, so many times that I wanted to fall ‘cause I can no longer resist the pressure. Still, I am here. You are here. And we’re still good friends. True friends as you wished. Not so long ago, I resigned as your best friend already, for I believed in you. This is for the betterment of us.
As much as I want to say more, to say sorry about, to thank you for any manner or whatsoever, I know I can’t repay you back exactly the way you wanted me to. (Although I don’t know how, but here’s my own way of saying I value you a lot). You mean so much to me. You are one of the reasons why I again believe in the word “friends”. Long ago, I’ve heaved the idea that friends do exist. Not until I met you, and experienced so many things, there I’ve proven myself wrong. Thank you so much for the friendship. Remember, it’s not about the material things; it’s not about the price of the gift. It’s about how you make that “gift” special to the person. Just like what I’ve did. Let’s not talk about effort, for I know I’ve exerted a lot, just because it is my nature. I’m a sweet person. You’ve seen that.
And as I end this three-page birthday letter, may I ask for my birthday gift then? (‘Di ako naniningil ha, don’t worry. This is not too hard, just a random one). If possible, could you make me feel like, you appreciate me as a friend too? (Shit. Naiiyak nako. Totoo.) For so many times, I’ve felt like I was just a nobody to you, that you’re taking me for granted, people around me would always ask me why, “Nagtataka ko, paano kayo naging mag-kaibigan, eh tingnan mo nga ginagawa niya sa’yo?” I am not so sure on how these people view us as friends. Since they’re not in our shoes naman. They don’t know what’s happening between our friendship, our treatment with each other. I don’t know how to explain this, but maybe someday, you’ll understand. I don’t want to juxtapose all these things all together. But yeah. Just that. Again. Happy 19th Birthday, Zhea! Enjoy. Have a good one. Do not forget who you are. I love you, Sisterette! Forever my younger my sister. Babygirl! (Let me treat you as one, for I don’t have any).
Xoxo,
Adrienne
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