KATY PERRY'S OST

Cause when I am with him, I am thinking of you. Thinking of you. And yea, I believe that comparisons are easily made once you've had the taste of perfection, he kissed my lips I taste your mouth, he fooled me in, I was disgusted with my self. Cause when am with him, I am thinking of you, thinking of you. Yea, this song of Katy Perry's kept playing on my mind; I felt so anxious and devastated today, not just because I am suffering from severe dysmenorrhea, but at the same time, I am feeling this torment again. Cause I just can't hide this feeling anymore, it's bugging me deep down to my veins. I know it's wrong, but am missing a guy, no one in particular. But yea, I miss the guy, whom always think of my welfare, who's always right beside me, day by day protecting me from harm, and making me feel secured from all anxieties of life. I miss this guy whom I can call mine completely, like, accept every inch of me; appreciates me in the aspect of idolatry. I miss the guy who plays the guitar and sing songs for me whenever am feeling down and troubled. I miss the guy who calls me beautiful inside and out, the guy who carries me whenever my back and feet hurts. The guy who gives me his handkerchief whenever tears sheds off my eyes spontaneously. The guy who removes his jacket and wrap me in, who tolerates my mood swings and kiss me in the rain, the guy who pulls me in his lap and cuddle with me; The guy who pulls the chair for me, who opens the door for me, who treats me an ice cream every time we're together. Who buys our tickets and popcorn for a movie and wraps me with his warm embraces whenever am feeling cold and shivering. The guy who plays staring games with me, loser kisses the winner. And most of all, the guy who understands me for who I am and for whom I am not. :|

I hate to compare. But as much as I remember all these things. It breaks my heart. I know I love somebody now, but maybe I just can't forget the things he has done for me, and no one can ever replace him. But maybe, guys are just different from each other perse. And am actually loving the feeling that I am with another man whom I can call differently from him. And am happier than ever. It's just that, these things shattered my mind out of nowhere, trying to trigger what's on my mind. But I ain't feeling confused nor neglected. It's just that, I miss the actions, but not the person himself, cause, he's now a stranger to me, I don't even consider him as my lover nor a special friend. And I just miss the actions that makes me shiver but in a good way~

And really, I am so faaaaaaatttttt! :| Haha, somebody told me, I look like 65 kgs, whereas, I only weigh 48 kgs. Nothing so serious, I didn't get pissed or anything, I just hate the approach, and I hate being called fat. ;) It's just that, nobody from my past addresses me this way. Haha, wow. I am the Great! Am I the biggest gainer? Haha. More likely, I weigh heavier than 65 kgs. ;) I just miss someone, telling me, to get back to my senses and be back to where I should be. ;)