It's Christmas, all over the world tonight. I can feel the real spirit of Jesus' birth again. I can't just imagine how these 51 weeks of summer in my life has again passed. I've actually waited for this special day to come, to be with my loved ones and spend this very significant day with them. Every year, its been a practice for all of us, to gather here in this so called "home". Home of our very loving and one-of-a-kind grandmother. She used to be the star and highlight of our every Christmases, for she is the only reason existing, and possessing the qualities of real joy, sacrifice and glory. But I have never been to this point in time of my life that I will be witnessing an enormous struggle between life and death situation. I couldn't just imagine that I have seen with my very 2 own eyes, grandma's struggles in bed. She was bedridden. She was weak, she can't hardly remember anyone else anymore. For the pain she experienced almost killed her. By simply looking at her, made me sick and suffer at the same time. I can't hide my feelings any longer. That, that very afternoon when we arrived this home, tears immediately succumb and shed off uncontrollably. Really, it is hard to see her in such a condition. Moreover, upon seeing her for 3 consecutive days, I was also able to witness the changes in her. How she did suffer and suffer more each and everyday. Worse and worst the Christmas eve. I could barely remember that night after I've been to the church, it was raining hard outside, I suddenly had a glimpse of her. She was staring at me, she seemed to tell me something important and then, for the nth time, I've heard her mumbled. She wasn't responding anymore to my mom's approaches. It was past 2PM, when everything seemed to really worn out. No more mumbling, no more resounding, and no more half opened eyes of my grandmother from above the view of her huge bed (Where I am exactly lying now.. I couldn't help but think she's still here beside me. I don't want to fool myself, but really, I believe, Mama Mercy is still here, continuously looking over us and guiding us all through out our everyday life.) Well, she used to be my stern looking grandma, but, there is this big BUT. She may look stern, but inside her heart is a strong,intelligent, artistic, hardworking, loving and a diligent woman. She is a mom to six beautiful children and a grandmother to seventeen of us, her jolly grandchildren. She is also a great grandmother to four cute babies. I could say that she used to be my mom's motivation on all her dealings in life. Well, truly, not only a mere motivation, but also an inspiration and a role model for all of her children. Which includes my Mom, I could see a living legend in the person of my grandma, seeing all my aunties and uncles raised with good morals and proper etiquettes in life, no doubt they were raised vivaciously and properly educated by a good mother.
I never thought of this. I used to tell Mom and myself. "Please do not worry, and never say that Mama Mercy is soon leaving us. Remember, she is a strong woman. She will still fight for us! Take note of that". I used to include her in my prayers every night, asking the Lord for her fast recovery, because I believe, it isn't the time yet that God will take back her life and embrace her again into His arms. I tried to tell convince myself, God is listening to all of us. She won't get Mama Mercy yet, for she wanted to see us go up the stage and receive all our diplomas first. (Though this seem so far away yet to happen, but I have this strong belief that truly, Mama wanted to see all of us finished our studies and be successful in life. It is "EDUCATION" that she values the hardest.) She was able to wait for each of us to come and see her during Christmas Day, though she was in the hospital, all were celebrating. Except us, the Quejano clan, for we have to look after Mama Mercy's recovery. Tita Dina, Tita Trina, Mom and Tito Michael was with her. They were there with her, we were hoping, we were truly waiting for her to come back. the day after Christmas. Roughly 10:45PM, she was out of our physical world and was fetched by the angels from heaven. She is now safe in the hands of the Lord, whereas she will no longer experience pain, not even death in humanity. For eternally, she will be with the Lord. Constantly looking after each of us. On our way to the hospital, I was still trying to convince myself that Mama Mercy isn't dead yet, that we were just be going there to visit, and fetch her. But when we were already inside the hospital, reached the 3rd floor. I saw Mom by the telephone, I cried so hard that it made my head almost cracked. This time, I can no longer fool myself. Mama Mercy has just leave. I whispered everything I wanted to tell her, I kissed her in the forehead, held her hands and tried to feel her warmth. I still can't believe it was actually happening. All I thought was, she will still be with us for some more years, but now it is different. On the other hand, I realized that it is her own decision. She now really wanted to leave and rest forever. I saw a different face from her. Nothing identical from the past days that she was still struggling. It was a peaceful and revived face. Well, tears still shedding. It's hard. But we all believe, Mama Mercy has her very own purpose of leaving this early. She wanted us to buried all her sufferings to this year, 2010. For she wanted us to start a new year, though without her physically, but still with her complete presence in all our hearts. She will forever remain in here.
I love you Mama Mercy. You'll surely be missed. :* May your repost soul find peace. And may the love of the Lord be with you forever. Let us not forget that death doesn't mark an end. It is actually a sign of another new beginning. :) I am a proud grand daughter of the loveliest legendary woman of her time-- Dean, Architect. Mercedita A. Quejano.
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