X, The Best Substitute for the Variable Y

Lying is a skill. If you can't master it, don't ever try. And that now I know and get to realize why the variable X is the best variable to substitute, variable Y. At this point in time, I am in total confusion. As in like, super ohmygosh. Creepy, but hell yea!~ Don't bother asking why. You might just get certain feedback; whatchamacalliit. You know what I mean. I've been a hesitant with what my heart always tells me. And that, I like him. But, I like him harder. I am confused. I whispered, "I love you(?)". Please, don't make me wrong. I won't be doing the same mistake I did before, my deepest darkest secret. I won't two-time again. :p :))

I am really really sorry. Listen, You're so special to me, that I can't ever imagine of you, suddenly disappearing in my life; I don't know what's with this something in you, that every time I look right straight into your eyes, my heart beats faster and faster, and that crazier and crazier. :D I love you(?) With uncertainty, because I ain't sure. Am I just merely infatuated with you, or am I getting into a deeper sense? While taking a bath at around 6PM, there's this something that suddenly puffed right at the back of my mind; why is it that the variable y, is the best substituting variable for x. Do you get what I exactly mean? Uh, if not.. It goes like this, I have this weird feeling of prolly falling back to his arms again, I felt the spark. Yes, it's still here. When we're together then, I can still hear my heart, shouting his name. And that, after all. He has never been out of my heart. Though I get these chances of meeting and dating other guys, I can't ignore this certain magical feeling, that I still belong to him. No one, but him. (Refers to ex-boyfriend) Although, I have him now, (Mr. Economics) pseudo name. :)) the fact that I really like him, yes. Honestly, but.. It seems like, there is this piece still missing. I don't know. As in total confusion. T.T
And so I concluded, in state of euphoria, melancholy; feeling hesitant of what you truly feels. The best way to escape, is. Oh I mean, the most probable realization shall be.. Think deeply down unto your nerves, close your eyes. And that, imagine the face/s of your special guy(s) see who appears first.. :)) So now. You'll realize why..

X, is The Best Substitute for the Variable Y. <3