'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly, but I'll miss your arms around me, I'd send a postcard to you, dear.. 'Cause I wish you were here. Because I wish you were here with me, tonight. Oh maybe not just tonight, but tomorrow, the next day, the next month, the next year, and oh, to the rest of my life. 'Til forever has come. I know I don't believe in forever, but because of you, am willing to break what I used to believe in, cause I think, you're my forever. I love you, and I know it's true. Nothing more, nothing less. Ghad, I have to admit, I have fallen in love several times already? (Wait, not really, maybe just mere crushes and infatuations, but these last three exes of mine, were all real.) Especially the present one, maybe I called it a break up, for us to grow up, not for me to find someone else, but to find myself back, to evaluate myself, and this is what I got. "You are the last guy whom I will be giving my whole life, my whole me, and my everything" You are, cause you are the only exception. I will always love you until the last breathe of mine, cause sincerely, you're my one and only true love. I know I've always been a dumb, moreover, a numb of setting all the love you've given me the past days and weeks ago, I know, we're no longer that "US" we used to be before, there's no more distinct commitment in this so-called relationship, but one thing's for sure, I know deep in our hearts and soul, we believe that it will still be YOU AND ME UNTIL THE END OF TIME, "You love me, I love you harder, let's make these things possible for the both of us" Well, I maybe you're thinking Dearest Blogspot that I didn't spent my day as productive as you wished me to do, cause I woke up at 4:30PM in the afternoon, then here I am, still here in front of you, it's been almost 12 hours. (Wow. Grabe, imba. Wala nakong patawad. Di na kita nilubayan. Haha) Uh, I know the reason why, maybe because of him, yea, maybe because of Michael. Oh, maybe, it isn't just a maybe. But for real, IT IS ALL BECAUSE OF YOU. Because I'll never sleep for you, I'll always be awake for you. :) Cause I will love you immeasurably. (By the way, I have to admit, I am missing those times, those times, when he hugs me so tight, that it's as if, he doesn't want to let go of me already, that he wants me to feel his love is actually real for me, that for eternity, it will just be Adrienne and Michael, 'til the end of time..) So yea, maybe you can no longer stand what am actually saying here, cause these all sounds really mushy and everything, but please, just simply try to forgive me, and do understand me.. (IN LOVE KASI AKO. Wala nang dapat pang kumontra, ganun talaga pag in love, di makatulog, di makakain. Pero syempre di yun ang cause para ako'y pumanget, lalo pa nga akong gumaganda e. HAHAHAHAHA. ANO RAW? Ang kapal naman ng mukha ko. XD) But yea, seriously, am really am in love with this guy, believe it or not, I was able to sacrificed my academic stuffs just because of him. JUST BECAUSE, I LOVE HIM, but I promise, next semester, no more like these, no more preoccupations about him, because after three years, I'll completely be his. (Wala ng bawian, makuntento nalang tayo at maging masaya sa kung ano man ang meron sa atin ngayon, kasi, believe me, we have to admit, mas masaya tayo na ganito, kesa nung TAYO pa.) Well, I believe, WE ARE STILL TOGETHER, it's just that, we don't owe anything, we just agreed on this matter, that you know what, after three years, I'll already be YOURS, completely. (Wow. I just can't imagine myself saying all these things, wala lang. Parang ang hirap lang kasi.) You know me, I ain't used to these, but yea, just like what my Mom used to tell me, (Kapag di mo naman kailangan, wag nalang.. But maybe you've entered that relationship cause you're looking forward na magiging kayo rin in the future, basta Anak, remember, you have to study first, let him wait, if he can wait.. Pero, kapag hindi naman nya nakaya, marami namang iba dyan, kung sino yung makakapaghintay sa'yo, oh, edi sya..)
I know Mom's right, she's always been right, for she always tells me what to do, she always guides me and helps me with my choices and decisions in life. Well, because of this status of mine in Facebook, "I wish that I could have said all that was in head." I was ghad. Damn, I was able to say all the things I wanted to tell him, (thank you, Skype, and finally I've got the guts to tell him what I truly feel.) I know I used to change topics and just say anything if I think am already out of control, but seriously, it makes me feel better, finally am free. :) (Nasabi ko na sakanya lahat ng saloobin ko, grabe. Ang sarap pala nung feeling na wala ka nang iba pang iniisip, kasi nasabi mo na sakanya lahat.) Well, nothing really, I just love him so hard that I can't afford of keeping all these things to him. Maybe he's just to important to me that I can't wait for another sunshine to tell him all these feelings I have for him, and yea, simply because, I don't wanna lose him. (Again, kahit paulit ulit kong sabihin, TUTOL NAMAN ANG BUONG MUNDO SA ATING DALAWA E, pero wala naman silang magagawa e.. MAHAL NA MAHAL KASI KITA, at yun lang naman ang PINAKAMAHALAGA.) One concrete reason I shared to him, when I was young I used to dream of being the Student Council President of my school, so yea, because I want it badly, I really really do, I made the right choices and with determination and conviction, at the end of it all, I was able to achieve my dream. To be on top of everybody, and be their best President, just like now, I told you, three years, since I badly want it to happen (kasi ayoko namang magbitiw ng salita pero di rin naman pala mangyayari..) just want to make things right, if I used that as an example in making this "thing" possible, don't you think I can also do that with such love and conviction in my heart? :) Don't you think it's really possible, that three years is just a short lived, yea, it maybe long as you could see, but hell no, it's too short.. yet, too long to cherish. :)
It maybe short, but it's too long to cherish. To cherish and share the love that we have for each other, believe me, I know it's hard, but I know we can make all these things through, because as long as we have each other, willing to fight and conquer them all, there will always be nothing between us, and nothing's gonna stop us now. :) And when I tell you I love you, please believe me, because it's all true. I have nothing more to say, nothing else to express nor to explain, because once a Philosophy major can no longer think of Logical reasons why she does love you, that's it.. She's totally into you, she does love you.. FOR REAL. :) Cause this Philosophy major over here, thinks..
Finally, she has found you, she has finally found her TRUE LOVE. Her ONE AND ONLY TRUE LOVE.. (I promise not to let go, because I believe we truly mesh.)
And, THAT IS YOU. :) ~ JAN-MICHAEL VINCENT BANNAG.
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